My Blog = My Life: holy living

Home school conventions and curriculum fairs are full of them: stressed-out homeschooling moms in search of the "perfect" curriculum. Anxious faces suggest meandering through the crowded hallways and sifting through myriads of material is no easy task. Moms stop other moms to ask, "What curriculum do you use?", hoping to discover the link to a successful school year.

What am I really asking when I implore another homeschooling mother about her curriculum choice? Because in all honesty, the curriculum she uses with her children probably won't help me with mine.

Giving myself the benefit of the doubt, perhaps her child does learn the same way as my child. Maybe that's why I'm curious. Maybe I really am looking for the most effective way to teach my child their ABC's and 123's.

Or maybe, I'm liking the way her kids are turning out and want my kids to turn out like that too.

It's silly isn't it? That I can think the key to a successful home school lies in a brand of textbooks. It's silly that I can stress over curriculum as if my choice will make my child turn out okay. I can put more thought into how they're going to learn the comparably insignificant three R's when my focus ought to be teaching them about our ruin in Adam, redemption in Jesus, and the renewing of our hearts and lives by the Holy Spirit.

What an awful lot of unnecessary pressure we put ourselves under, when ultimately, it's the grace and power of a super-natural God that is absolutely necessary to make any home school successful!

In the end, it matters not whether Johnny learns to read. Reading won't get him into Heaven. Neither will his ability to write, compute numbers, or dissect a frog.

"If you try to give people knowledge, and you haven't trained them in character, based on faith, they will become intellectual reprobates." - Doug Phillips
In the end, what matters is my child's salvation. This is not something that can be found in a curriculum, worksheet, or activity binder. I can't give them a page of multiple choice questions and give them a passing grade. I can't do anything to make their salvation happen.

Hallelujah!

From beginning to end, salvation is the work of the Holy Spirit, applying the atonement Jesus paid for with His blood to sinners who God loved for no reason in ourselves (Hebrews 7:25).

This is what gives me hope as a home school mom. The God who can save my child is the same God who takes no delight in the death of the wicked, but desires everyone to come to repentance (Ezekiel 33:11). He is the same God who promised that those who seek Him shall find Him (Proverbs 8: 17). And these promises are certain because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrew 13:8).

Therefore, as a homeschooling mom, I ought to be pouring my energies, sweat, and tears not into curriculum, but into familiarizing my children with the Bible because faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God (Romans 10:17).

Don't get me wrong. We ought to do due diligence in choosing curriculum that corresponds to the individual needs of our children. But if it's not working, don't sweat it. There is one thing needful in a child's education, and that is to sit at Jesus' feet (Luke 10:42).

Start your day in God's Word. Choose curriculum that is Word-centered. Pray for the salvation of your children. Present them with the Gospel as you sit in your house, walk along the road, when you tuck them in bed at night, and when you get up (Deuteronomy 5: 6,7).

Go forward and home school in hope. The salvation of your child does not hinge on your curriculum choice; it rests on the finished work of Jesus Christ who has freely offered Himself in the Gospel.

Linking to: Raising Homemakers,, Deep Roots At Home, Wise Woman, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, Walking Redeemed, A Mama's Stoary

Like it or not, there will be times in our lives when apologies are necessary to bring restoration to a relationship we have strained. The key to a clean slate goes far beyond a simple "I'm sorry." Even a child understands that a quick muttering of the phrase can spare the consequent discipline.

Which of us hasn't received (or worse, given) an apology that was less than heartfelt? How often don't we try to retain our "honor" by minimizing the degree to which we hurt a person? Have you ever gotten the feeling that the offender isn't really sorry for what they did? That they're just using the word "sorry" in a sentence to get rid of their guilt? Can you catch it in each of these common apologies?

• I'm sorry if I was wrong.
• I'm sorry. I really wasn't trying to hurt you.
• I'm sorry, but you were wrong too.
• I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so sensitive about that.

... continued from yesterday. Read Part 1 here.
Currently, we're teaching our 2-year-old to memorize the Proverbs. Proverbs for Parenting | A Topical Guide for Child Raising From The Book of Proverbs compiled by Barbara Decker has proved to be a handy tool as each of the proverbs are organized into their respective categories.

If Charity is having a particularly difficult week with anger and temper-tantrums, we can flip to the anger section and choose a few verses from there to work on. If she's habitually stalling when we ask her to do something, we'll turn to the chapter on obedience. If she's having a hard time finding something nice to say to her brother, we'll memorize a verse on kindness.

There's nothing difficult or scientific about our method for memorization. For the most part, it's a simple process of "repeat after me." This past week, we memorized Proverbs 16:6: "By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil."
1. First, I'll read the verse through and explain any words she might not understand: iniquity, purged, depart.
2. Then I'll say the first phrase and ask her to repeat it back to me. I do this several times over with each section of the verse. That way, it gets ingrained in my memory as well as hers!
Mommy: "By mercy and truth... "
Charity: "By mercy and truth... "
Mommy: "Iniquity is purged... "
Charity: "Iniquity is purged... "
3. Once I think she's familiar with the phrases, we start combining them, two at a time:
Mommy: "By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged... "
Charity: "By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged... "
Mommy: "..and by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil."
Charity: "... and by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil."
4. Next, I leave out key words, and give her the opportunity to fill them in:
"By ________ and _______, _________ is ________: and _____ the _________ of the _______, men __________ from ______. Proverbs ____ : ____."
5. Once she's done the above a few time, we're down to just a few prompts until she can say it on her own:
"By _____________, iniqu... _______________; and ________________, men ____________________. _________ ___ : ___."
The whole process takes less than 15 minutes. I'll randomly review the verse with her several times throughout each day of the week until she can rattle it off and we move onto the next one. A few other things we've found helpful to aid in Scripture memorization are:

• Music. We sing a Psalm from our Church's Psalter with her before bed time. It's so fun when she picks it up and is able to sing along with us or recognizes it in a Church service!
• Regular Review. We try not to forget about a verse once we've moved on to a new one. To keep it fresh in her memory, we'll say the first word of a verse she knows when we're in the car or at dinner, and she'll finish the rest.
• Consistency. I find this to be the hardest part of all, especially if my morning is rushed by a tight schedule. However, if Charity's kept in the memorizing mode, it becomes easier for her to catch on. Once she recognizes it as part of our daily routine, she becomes the one who reminds me: "Mommy? Can we do the 'merry heart is good like medicine' one?"

Our 4-year-old daughter has no qualms about being feminine. She does her school in her princess dress, loves stories about princesses, hates wearing pants, wants to get married (to Daddy), diapers and clothes her stuffed dog multiple times a day, and believes green and blue are colors that should be reserved for boys.

Being girly is just so... so natural to girls (most of 'em)! Little girl, who aren't old enough to understand or conform to the most degrading and dehumanizing aspect of our culture: feminism.
I wish there was a way I could preserve my daughter's natural inclination to girly things. How can I raise her to be feminine in a feminist culture? A times, the challenge overwhelms me.
Society, at large, stifles biblical womanhood.. Girls get told it's a "waste of intelligence" to stay at home and raise children. Motherhood is a "mindless" routine that consists of changing diapers and being shackled to the stove. We know it's not a waste of time, but defending our decision seems like a losing battle. After all, there are a lot more of "them" than there are of "us."
In the end, it comes down to who gets to define the terms: neither you nor I. God alone, the Creator of women, wields that kind of authority, and He hasn't left it up to us to play the guessing game with our role or how we should act.

His Word is filled with meaning, instruction, and examples of mothers, wives, daughters, grandmothers, saints, sinners, lovers, nurturers, teachers, peacemakers, artists, and so much more. All we need to know about what makes for blessed society is right at our finger tips.

Still, we somehow believe our culture's vision for "liberating women" is better than the One who created women and came to set them free from their self-induced bondage.

Somehow we find ourselves in an identity crisis that our Bible-believing foremothers did not seem to have.

Somehow our "liberation" in the 21st century has bound us to a cubicle of tormenting doubts about what we are doing as women.
Somehow filing a stack of paperwork in an office is more important than sorting laundry.

Somehow drawing up a spreadsheet requires more creativity than artfully decorating your home.

Somehow teaching 30 kids to read takes more preparation than instructing three children how to live.

Somehow it requires sheer brilliance to manage employees in the corporate office while raising our children to be intelligent, honorable citizens is a demoted to a brainless job.

Somehow, if you get paid for doing one of the thousand jobs a mother does in a day, you can call yourself an expert.
We buckle under the pressure and bashfully admit, "Oh, I'm just a stay-at-home Mom."

We attempt to justify our choice by rambling on about all the other things we do with our "spare time" as though being a mother isn't a real job. "Well, I'm a chef, baker, time management expert, teacher, personal shopper, repairman, financial adviser, writer, etc."

It's time to stop apologizing.
Whether we find life as a woman to be stifling or liberating is ultimately our choice. The paradox of Scripture is that submission brings the greatest freedom and that death brings life. Only when we die to ourselves, our dreams, and our desires, will we find vitality and freedom in pursuing the high calling of biblical womanhood with joy, intelligence, and purpose.

If we get this, if our daughters get this, we can begin fostering femininity back into our feminist world.

The idea that a mother's place is in the home is no longer a popular one - not even within the Church. That said, most God-fearing mothers who choose a career over staying at home are not necessarily motivated by selfish desires, but by a culture which seems to leave them with no choice. It just doesn't make sense when an extra income would surely be more beneficial for their children in the long run... wouldn't it?

Scene #1: Perhaps a couple recognizes their young children are extraordinarily gifted and bright. University is certainly within their future. The parents want to give each of them the gift of a good, post-secondary education but know that's not possible on the husband's income alone. So Mom searches through the Yellow Pages and begins working from 8am-4pm - for the good of her children.Scene #2: Or maybe, as was the case with one of my grandmothers, a mother grew up in a very poor family and was never able to enjoy the kind of material wealth that seemed common place for everyone else. She doesn't want her children to know the pain of doing without and so works hard to bring in a paycheck that will cover trendy clothes, restaurant meals, and the latest technological gadgets that all the other kids on the block seem to have.Scene #3: Perhaps it's the cost of Christian schooling that forces a mother to work outside the home. It breaks her heart to drop her 10-month-old off at her sister-in-law's each morning, but she quickly reminds herself that the value of a Christian education is worth the temporary sacrifice.
The mother in each one of these examples has made her decision, perhaps with the support of her husband, based on "common sense." To the human mind, (especially the one that has been affected by years of feminism, liberal rhetoric, and publicly funded Marxism) it's perfectly logical to submit ourselves to "expert" opinion and abandon our kids while they're young in order to give them what they really need when they are older.

However, one very important detail is missing from each of these scenarios. Did you catch it?

A mother and father may arrive at the decision for her to work outside the home together after much consideration. Perhaps they even commit Mom's new job to the Lord in prayer. Maybe the children are made aware of the new changes and everyone agrees that this is what is best for their family. But through all the deliberations, the Bible remains on the shelf, and no one stops to ask, "What would God want Mom to do?"
"'The Lord told me,' is no substitute for 'the Bible says.'" - Voddie BauchamI am not suggesting that no woman can ever have a career, that parents shouldn't send their child to university or pay for their tuition (that's a topic for another day), give them good gifts, make every effort to provide them with a Christian education, or that a mother can't supplement the family income (if I believed that, I wouldn't have this blog or have written my two eBooks, How To Design Your Own Blog and How To Grow Your Blog And Manage Your Home).

I'm asking you, dear mother, to examine where God considers your presence most important. There are several parental responsibilities required of us that are difficult or impossible to perform if we are physically away from our children:

• Availability - morning, noon, and night (Deuteronomy 6:7)
• Training (Proverbs 22:6)
• Discipline (Proverbs 29:15-17)
• Teaching the Scriptures (Deuteronomy 4:10)
• Nurturing (Titus 2:4)

• Does my absence mean someone else will care for my children?

• How long will they be under another's care each day?

• Is this the person I want to raise and influence my child in my place?

• How many surrogate mothers will be involved over the years?

• What impact will that have?

• Does my job sap my energies so that I am tired and pressured and unable to give them quality time?

• Are my creativity, my wit, and my best efforts spent outside my family?

• Do they get only the leftovers?

The biblical solution involves a radical reform in our thinking. Christians must operate on the premise that pure and undefiled religion requires individual benevolence towards widows (James 1:27), families must take responsibility and look after their own (1 Timothy 5:8, 16), and the local church (whose diaconal ministry would be well funded if we tithed more than 2%) is called to care for those who are truly widows (1 Timothy 5: 3-16).

Mom, your job is so eternally important, that God ensured there would be a way for you to minister through full-time motherhood. The right thing to do is not often the easiest thing to do. Staying at home to raise your children will cost you. It may require painful sacrifices, tighter budgets, and perhaps even swallowing our pride enough to accept the aid available to us. But I believe it can be done and that the reward you receive will be eternally worth it.

If financial concerns are keeping you back from staying home with your children, here are some articles and books to help and encourage you.
Articles

• Saving Money In Your Baby's First Year
• Income-Earning Ideas
• We Couldn't Afford Children - Glad We Didn't Have To
• You CAN Stay Home - Earning Money From Home

• Money Saving Mom by Crystal Paine
• Family Feasts for $75 a Week by Mary Ostyn
• America's Cheapest Family by Annette Economides
• Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman