The idea that a mother's place is in the home is no longer a popular one - not even within the Church. That said, most God-fearing mothers who choose a career over staying at home are not necessarily motivated by selfish desires, but by a culture which seems to leave them with no choice. It just doesn't make sense when an extra income would surely be more beneficial for their children in the long run... wouldn't it?
Scene #1: Perhaps a couple recognizes their young children are extraordinarily gifted and bright. University is certainly within their future. The parents want to give each of them the gift of a good, post-secondary education but know that's not possible on the husband's income alone. So Mom searches through the Yellow Pages and begins working from 8am-4pm - for the good of her children.Scene #2: Or maybe, as was the case with one of my grandmothers, a mother grew up in a very poor family and was never able to enjoy the kind of material wealth that seemed common place for everyone else. She doesn't want her children to know the pain of doing without and so works hard to bring in a paycheck that will cover trendy clothes, restaurant meals, and the latest technological gadgets that all the other kids on the block seem to have.Scene #3: Perhaps it's the cost of Christian schooling that forces a mother to work outside the home. It breaks her heart to drop her 10-month-old off at her sister-in-law's each morning, but she quickly reminds herself that the value of a Christian education is worth the temporary sacrifice.
The mother in each one of these examples has made her decision, perhaps with the support of her husband, based on "common sense." To the human mind, (especially the one that has been affected by years of feminism, liberal rhetoric, and publicly funded Marxism) it's perfectly logical to submit ourselves to "expert" opinion and abandon our kids while they're young in order to give them what they really need when they are older.
However, one very important detail is missing from each of these scenarios. Did you catch it?
A mother and father may arrive at the decision for her to work outside the home together after much consideration. Perhaps they even commit Mom's new job to the Lord in prayer. Maybe the children are made aware of the new changes and everyone agrees that this is what is best for their family. But through all the deliberations, the Bible remains on the shelf, and no one stops to ask, "What would God want Mom to do?"
"'The Lord told me,' is no substitute for 'the Bible says.'" - Voddie BauchamI am not suggesting that no woman can ever have a career, that parents shouldn't send their child to university or pay for their tuition (that's a topic for another day), give them good gifts, make every effort to provide them with a Christian education, or that a mother can't supplement the family income (if I believed that, I wouldn't have this blog or have written my two eBooks, How To Design Your Own Blog and How To Grow Your Blog And Manage Your Home).
I'm asking you, dear mother, to examine where God considers your presence most important. There are several parental responsibilities required of us that are difficult or impossible to perform if we are physically away from our children:
- Availability - morning, noon, and night (Deuteronomy 6:7)
- Training (Proverbs 22:6)
- Discipline (Proverbs 29:15-17)
- Teaching the Scriptures (Deuteronomy 4:10)
- Nurturing (Titus 2:4)
Jean Fleming provides a list of helpful questions for parents to wade through in her book, A Mother's Heart:
- Does my absence mean someone else will care for my children?
- How long will they be under another's care each day?
- Is this the person I want to raise and influence my child in my place?
- How many surrogate mothers will be involved over the years?
- What impact will that have?
- Does my job sap my energies so that I am tired and pressured and unable to give them quality time?
- Are my creativity, my wit, and my best efforts spent outside my family?
- Do they get only the leftovers?
Someone will invariably bring up a worst-case scenario or argue on the grounds of "What if... " But God is always one step ahead of our hesitation and doubt. He's provided solutions that enable mothers to stay at home with their children and perform their parental duties even when faced with challenges like widowhood, a husband's unemployment, or a disastrous economic situation.
The biblical solution involves a radical reform in our thinking. Christians must operate on the premise that pure and undefiled religion requires individual benevolence towards widows (James 1:27), families must take responsibility and look after their own (1 Timothy 5:8, 16), and the local church (whose diaconal ministry would be well funded if we tithed more than 2%) is called to care for those who are truly widows (1 Timothy 5: 3-16).
Mom, your job is so eternally important, that God ensured there would be a way for you to minister through full-time motherhood. The right thing to do is not often the easiest thing to do. Staying at home to raise your children will cost you. It may require painful sacrifices, tighter budgets, and perhaps even swallowing our pride enough to accept the aid available to us. But I believe it can be done and that the reward you receive will be eternally worth it.
If financial concerns are keeping you back from staying home with your children, here are some articles and books to help and encourage you.
Articles
- Saving Money In Your Baby's First Year
- Income-Earning Ideas
- We Couldn't Afford Children - Glad We Didn't Have To
- You CAN Stay Home - Earning Money From Home
Books
- Money Saving Mom by Crystal Paine
- Family Feasts for $75 a Week by Mary Ostyn
- America's Cheapest Family by Annette Economides
- Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman