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Morning sickness; some people get it, some people don't. Some people are incapacitated for their whole pregnancy, others get off nausea-free. With Charity, I fell somewhere in between. I took two months off of work between weeks 7-16 and spent my days lying on the couch with a red pail on the floor beside me. I couldn't cook, and Brad had to eat his meals in another room so the smell wouldn't send me running for the bathroom... again. We ordered in and ate out more than I ever dreamed I'd allow myself to.

Week 17 I felt like a new person. The morning sickness (I called it 'morning-noon-and-night-sickness') stopped almost over night, and I quickly packed on the pounds, delighted in making Brad dinner again, cleaned our house from top to bottom, ignited the pregnancy glow once again, and gave birth to a healthy, strong girl who weighed 9 lbs, 10 oz.

Then there's the near perfect experience like my 44-year-old mom had just a few short months ago with Charity's little uncle William. She had no symptoms, except for her expanding waist line. She could hardly believe she was pregnant (none of use could, actually); no headaches, no puking, no swollen ankles, no nausea, no nothing. Just this sense of being overwhelmed that her baby would be younger than her granddaughter; Grandma was having a baby!

So far with this pregnancy, I'm feeling much better than I did with Charity. The nausea is persistent, usually at it's worst in the morning. We have VBS this week and I'm in charge of the crafts for the 6-7 year-olds. Thankfully, I've been given permission to come near the end of the class when the worst of it is over, and I can cut and paste with out gagging at the smell of the glue or marker pens. I'm sure the kids would laugh at the sight of me gagging; Charity thinks it's hysterical.

I've never taken any medication for morning sickness, although it has been suggested by many including my Doctor. I know it's not a chronic condition and that one day it will pass. As difficult as it can be, so far I've been successfully in biting the bullet, and skipping the Diclectin. Perhaps it's because I'm naive and stubborn. Morning sickness is normal, just not particularly enjoyable. Over 80% of women experience it, and usually it means that everything is going just fine with baby.

When I'm tempted to go on medication, I just remember the story my aunt tells of her sister, who has had nearly as many miscarriages as babies (five or six). She was truly thankful for morning sickness, because it was with these pregnancies that her babies survived. To her, morning sickness meant new life inside her womb. The pregnancies in which she felt well usually ended devastatingly within a few weeks.

Along the way, I've learned a few things that seem to keep the uncomfortable symptoms in check. Most of them I learned from other experienced moms. Feel free to add anything you've found helpful in the comment section. I'll make great use of them to be sure!

• Take your iron, folic acid or other pregnancy vitamins when you feel the least sickly. Iron should be taken with orange juice because it needs the Vitamin C to absorb properly. Unfortunately orange juice triggers my gag reflex first thing in the morning. I take mine right before bed at night and everything stays in.
• As soon as you find out you're pregnant, double your meals and freeze one. Most people feel fine for the first month or two. Take advantage of it and stock pile meals for the freezer. You'll be so grateful for a yummy, healthy meal, without having to fork out when the last thing you feel like doing is cooking meat or sauteing onions.
• Can't sleep at night? Try drinking hot milk before bed.
• Keep a package of soda crackers next to your bed, in your purse, or in your pocket. Sometimes I get the overwhelming urge to munch on something. If I don't, I know I'll be sick. So I keep a package of soda crackers nearby at all times. It saves making pit stops at Tim Hortons when the urge comes on suddenly.
• Take a nap. Many of them. You'll feel refreshed.
• Accept help when it's offered. Having a sister over for the day to help fold the mountain of laundry can bring great relief and a renewed sense of hope.
• Keep up your fluids. It's easy to become dehydrated when you're constantly bringing up.
• Look at baby pictures, read up on how your baby's developing, or having an ultra sound, can be just the thing to help you remember that this is all so, so worth it!

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Photo source: Getty Images
When we were on our honeymoon, I picked up a bacterial infection. I couldn't keep anything down and spent a day in the hospital on IV. The doctors gave me an antibiotic designed to kill the bacteria. I took it as prescribed, but the problem got worse. I sought the advice of a Doctor of Natural Medicine who suggested I take Black Walnut tincture. The infection was gone in two days.

A few months later, Brad lost thirty pounds in three months (and he didn't have a pound to spare in the first place). He saw multiple specialists and had every test under the sun. No one could make a diagnosis. He was eventually told, "Maybe this is your ideal weight. Not everyone is meant to be the same size." Another doctor recommended that he should start drinking Boost to gain weight.

We took a look at the ingredient list and were shocked to discover that the first three ingredients were water, sugar, and corn syrup which made up 47% of the actual serving! That's equivalent to swallowing your vitamins with a 237ml glass of water containing 7 teaspoons of sugar.

Brad wanted to gain the weight back but in a healthy way. He chose not to drink Boost. We quit going to doctors and started doing our own research. For two years, we tried various diets and eventually eliminated gluten, and limited corn, and cow's milk (we still love dairy, just not store milk itself). I started making smoothies full of good fat and kefir for breakfast and he started taking probiotics with his meals. We still have a long way to go, but he's slowly putting the weight back on.

When our then 18 month old son started getting chronic ear infections (at least one a month), we took him to a specialist. He said our son would eventually grow out of it, but in the mean time, we could either choose to have tubes put in his ears, or relieve the pain with Tylenol and Motrin. I knew Tylenol and Motrin would do nothing more than mask the real problem and was concerned with the toxic effect regular doses of ibuprofen would have on his liver and kidneys. A friend of mine recommended I take him to the chiropractor. After a series of four adjustments, he hasn't had an ear infection in over a year.

When our daughter was born 6 weeks premature, I was denied the right to breastfeed our daughter because the nurses said she would burn too many calories if I let her work for it instead of using the tube for feedings like they recommended. My midwife was happy to intervene on our behalf and when I finally got the chance to breastfeed our little girl, she gained four ounces overnight - more than she had gained on the tube since birth!

We were told our youngest baby's life was not "viable" (worth trying to save) until I reached 24 weeks; I hemorrhaged nine-days postpartum after a botched manual placenta removal; our ex-gynecologist had no problem delivering a child in one room and aborting another in the next.

Doctors are but men.

They have helped us on many occasions and to a large extent, we place a lot of faith in their expertise. However, we must be careful not to credit them with an infallibility they do not have, and remember that it's an individual's right and responsibility to choose who they trust with their healthcare.

We've been reminded many times over the past few years that the best men are men at best. Doctors make mistakes, just like everybody else. They don't have a solution to everything, and often their solutions are atomistic instead of holistic. If that's what you like, it's not a problem, but if your philosophy of healthcare has got you believing that we ought to focus on healing the root cause of a malady in addition to providing symptomatic relief, then it makes sense to investigate alternatives to conventional medicine.

It's odd to me that our advocating the use of natural means (which have proven to be effective and superior to conventional medicine several times in our experience) can bring out the worst in people. There seems to be some sort of understood rule that if you don't put all your money on a conventionally trained M.D. from the Mayo clinic, you must therefore be a fringe greenie who will drink herbal concoctions to the death!

We make our healthcare decisions based on a position somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. I'm not comfortable putting all my eggs in a basket I've seen break before, and I'm skeptical of advice that comes from a doctor who doesn't believe all of life is sacred, beginning at conception and ending with natural death.

I don't trust natural "medicine" doctors who believe the power to heal lies within yourself (this philosophy contradicts everything Scriptural), and I don't buy the lie that you can discredit diet, exercise, and proper hygiene so long as you take several handfuls of supplements and chug them down with a bottle of Pepsi.
With conventional medicine now the third leading cause of death killing 225,000 people each and every year as recognized by the Journal of the American Medical Association and half of doctors routinely prescribing drugs they know won’t work, learning to stand up for yourself in any sort of medical situation and not take advice blindly can be a lifesaving skill. An informed patient is no doubt a doctor’s worst customer. ~ The Healthy Home EconomistSo, who do we trust?

That's for you to decide, but these are a few principles our family tries to take into consideration when we have a decision to make regarding our health:

Find a Christian, pro-life doctor who respects your parental rights and invites inquisition. If your doctor ignores your questions, fails to give straight answers, or gets agitated when you don't immediately jump at his offer to write up a prescription, it's time to find someone who treats you like a human being instead of another cog in the wheel.
Get a second opinion, and a third, and a fourth. I feel more confident of a diagnosis and prescription if multiple doctors are in agreement. If four doctors tell me four different things, I don't know who to believe and start seeking the counsel of others who have been in a similar situation.
Seek counsel from seasoned mothers. Is there anything more sincere than a mother's love for child? Mothers who have dealt with a sick child are usually well-studied in all the different options available, and tend to have an empathetic heart to go along with it.
Do your own research. By that I mean, don't believe everything you read online. Study reputable sources, consult with herbalists, chiropractors, nurses, nutritionists, doctors, and homeopaths. Self-educate and become well-rounded so you can make an informed decision.
Trust your intuition. God gave that to you!

Pray! Too often I forget that the miracle worker of Nazareth is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). God is not limited by time, space, medicine, or a diagnosis. He invites us to touch the hem of His garment when we've spent all our living searching for answers and finding none (Matthew 5:25-29).
Remember that God has all our days planned. I can't explain the paradox of God's Sovereignty and man's responsibility, but it's a comfort, not a curse, to know that even though the responsibility of their healthcare falls into my lap, God entrusted them into our care after He had planned out all their days (Psalm 139:16). Not a hair can fall from their head without His permission (Luke 12:7).
Recommended Resources:

Treating Fevers Naturally by Meagan Vissers, RN, FH. Meagan is a Christian friend of mine who has been trained in both conventional and herbal medicine. The information in her eBook was the answer to my concerns about Tylenol and Motrin's effect on our organs, and gave me a plethora of effective, natural solutions.

Treating Fevers Naturally taught meeverything the doctor didn't:what a fever is and why it’s a good thing; what’s going on with your child when they have a fever; what the difference is in “degrees” of fever; the concerns of fevers and how to deal with them appropriately; the difference in medical vs. natural treatment options; and natural treatments for bringing a fever down and making your child comfortable.

Treating Fevers Naturally sells for $14.97, but the education and confidence it gives a mother in charge of her child's health is priceless.

The Bulk Herb Store. The Bulk Herb Store is a Christian, family-run business that sells a vast collection of organic herbs and teaches people how to use them for practical and medicinal purposes.

I used their herbs to help a complicated pregnancy, and to make the post-partum herbal bath I enjoy after each child is born. Their book, Making Babies, taught me how to make my own herbal tinctures and salves and how and when to use them. I also use their spices and sea salt in my baking and cooking.

Other hugely informative books and videos they carry include:

• Be Your Own Doctor by Rachel Weaver
• Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride MD, MMedSci(neurology), MMedSci(nutrition)
• Herbal Antibiotics by Stephen Harrod Buhner
• Herbal Antivirals by Stephen Harrod Buhner
• Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health by Rosemary Gladstar
• Practical Herbalism by Phil Fritchey
• The Green Pharmacy by Dr. James A. Duke
• The Herbal Drugstore by Linda B. White, M.D., Steven Foster.

Trust Your Intuition by Jenni Wilson, M. H., wife of an M.D. Trust Your Intuition is the combined work of several Christian medical experts (three of whom are my personal friends), and seeks to provide balanced, grace-filled, information regarding both conventional and alternative medicine.

It offers easy ways to protect yourself and family from synthetic medicine and it's negative side effects, help you avoid toxic treatments, and choose natural therapies that have proven to be effective in homes all across the country.

The Maker's Diet by Jordan Rubin, Ph.D., N.M.D. We were thrilled to discover this book shortly after Brad's weight reached an all time low. Most diet books are designed to help people lose weight, but The Maker's Diet is the story of how Jordan Rubin, a once healthy young man in his prime, who experienced the same kind of weight loss as my husband and was eventually given up on for dead by several doctors.

He started patterning his diet and nutrition according to principles he discovered in the Bible, attained his ideal weight, and wrote about his journey in book that has helped people boost their immune systems, improve their physical appearance and digestion, regain their energy, and reduce their stress.

We don't follow The Maker's Diet explicitly, but it was the foundation for much of our diet change and investigation into holistic healthcare.

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Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman., Walking Redeemed,, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Time Warp Wife, The Prairie Homestead,

Carrying Anna outside to pick some beans from our garden for supper, I sighed.

The patio was more green than grey with all the weeds coming up through the cracks. The hose lay in a tangled mess off to the side and toys from the sandbox littered the yard. The flower beds looked like they were in need of a good drink and weeds had begun to crowd out the herbs I had planted in the vegetable garden.

The kiddie pool in serious need of a good cleaning, and our weedy patio. The lawn showed serious signs of neglect too. Not having been cut in two weeks, the grass had reached that unpleasant length where your ankles get tickled by the blades and bit by mosquitoes that had found a home near the roots.

I picked a bowl full of beans and returned to the house. Weeds were poking through the pavement in the driveway too. I opened the door and felt a hot tear trickle down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away. The kids were laughing hysterically together and I didn't want to rain on their parade.

Charity's dolls from Aunt Connie, all swaddled up and sleeping on the couch. Notice the pillows so they don't roll off? Toys strewn all over the living room showed signs of active imaginations and serious creativity. I like to have things neat and tidy for my dear husband when he gets home from work, but that clearly wasn't going to happen this day..not if I was going to have a nice dinner ready and Anna fed by the time he walked in the door too.

I felt deflated, hypocritical, and way behind on everything. I write about the joys of motherhood and being a homemaker, but today I just wasn't feeling it as I stared a sink full of unwashed dishes, enough food underneath the table to add an egg and make a casserole, and a long to-do list of things that still needed to be done: laundry, bath the kids, make supper, clean out the van, etc., etc.

It's not that my husband doesn't pitch in. He does, more than any other husband I know. He works hard all day and then comes home is a SuperDad to our kids and a loving husband to me. He washes, dries, and puts away the dishes after dinner, gives the kids piggy-back rides around the house while they shriek with delight, brushes their teeth, reads them stories before bed, and tucks them in at night. Then he pays our bills, runs errands I didn't get to during the day, and often brings me back a little surprise like Reese's or ice cream. He's a champion in every way so this feeling of "way behindishness" I get doesn't come from him.

Our tiny kitchen, looking well-used. :-) The unreasonable standard I had set for myself was self-imposed and largely influenced by staged photos on Pinterest and the comparison game I played with other homemakers. No one was telling me I had to serve gourmet meals every night, keep a spotless, well-organized home, and dress my children in trendy clothes that matched. But somehow I had gotten the idea that doing all these things would mean I was being successful in my role as a wife, mother, and homemaker.

Brad walked in the door and I didn't greet him like I normally do. I knew I'd probably have a melt down so I kept washing dishes. Silly of me really, because he knows his wife well and immediately knew something was up. He kissed my on my cheek and asked, "Hi Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I lost it. His kind gesture was no match for the frustrations I had pent up inside and the tears started flowing while I rattled off my list of failures. "I didn't get anything done today. The grass still needs to be cut, supper's not ready and we've already had cereal or take-out twice this week, Anna needs to be fed again, Charity's out of clean underwear, and I can't remember the last time I gave the kids a proper bath!" For emphasis, I added, "I just can't do it any more. Sometimes I think I'd just be better off at work."

Brad knew I didn't mean that. He put his hands on my waist and looked me in the eye. "The reason you feel like you didn't get anything done today, is because you were busy doing more important things." He glanced over at our three busy kids and continued. "I don't care if we have to eat take-out every night, or use paper plates for a while, or if the wash doesn't get folded. If you get nothing done all day but the kids are happy, then I'm happy too!"

I thought back on our day. It started with me crawling into Charity's bed for our morning snuggle. She told me all about how her stuffed animals had behaved at night. Judah had peed through his diaper, so I washed him up before breakfast and started a load of laundry. We had our usual smoothies, read the story of Jonah for devotions, and prayed that God would keep Daddy safe at Opa's shop and give us clean hearts that love Him above all and our neighbors as ourselves.

Judah's raspberries. Then I read Charity a chapter from Little House in the Big Woods while I nursed Anna. Judah can't sit that long, so he played "excavators" on the coffee table. After making sure everyone had gone to the bathroom, and the diaper bag was packed, we went to my aunt's farm to pick raspberries.

"See Mom? If you just squish them like this, then we don't have to make jam when we get home!"

"I'm picking all the tiny little hard ones 'cause they're SOOOO cute!"

"Look, Mom! I picked all the white ones! We can just pick off the green prickles after."

Anna had decided she was finished before we started, so I discovered how fast I can pick with one hand while rocking a screaming baby: 2 quarts in half an hour.

We made it home in time for lunch. I had some leftover chocolate drizzle from a cheesecake so I made happy faces on their peanut-butter sandwiches. They were over the moon with delight.

After nap-time, we took a walk across the road to the park and cooled off for a few minutes at the splash pad. Back home, Charity wanted to do "school," so she found her books and pencils and I showed her how to make the number three. "Around a tree and around a tree. This is how to make a three!" we sang together.

Throughout the day there were squabbles to break up, attitudes to adjust, meltdowns to clean up, time-outs for tempers, kisses for boo-boos, apologies given and accepted, and hugs for the emotionally distraught.

Brad was right. I may not have gotten much done by way of housework, but alongside me had been three little sidekicks whose minds and hearts, for better or for worse, were being shaped, molded, and influenced by their Mom.

The weight of my responsibility struck me. I wasn't raising children here, I was raising adults. I was forming the next generation of fathers and mothers. I was shaping the characters of those who would raise our grandchildren. There was so much I needed to teach them, so much discipling that needed to happen in their tender hearts as well as mine.

The laundry, dirty house, and weeds in the patio will still be there one day when I have time to play catch up. But I'll never be able to play catch up with my kids. My time with them is slipping away like hourglass sand and I can't stop it.

So, while I'd like to maintain an immaculate house, keep our patio weed-free, and cut out the take-out, I've only got one chance at this Mom thing. Charity is three years old - almost four. If she marries at the same age I did, I have just 14 short years left before she leaves the nest. The first three have come and gone in a blink of an eye. Five more blinks and it's over.
"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 6:7 Truth is, if you're way behind on everything except time spent with your kids, you're way ahead.

Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, We Are That Family, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman., Walking Redeemed, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story

I love homeschooling. I loved it as a student for 13 years, I love it as a second-generation homeschool mama at the beginning of her own journey, I love writing about it, creating tools for it, and more recently, co-authoring a book about it!

Homeschooling consummates the passion and zeal we have to instruct the little souls God has entrusted us with. Nevertheless, it would be naive of me to dismiss homeschooling's challenges or pretend that my propensity to particular idols doesn't exist. The devil does what he can to transfer our worship from the One who gives life and purpose to our homeschool to that which turns us in toward ourselves and leaves us feeling empty, dry, and deflated.

The idols of one mother's heart might look different than the idols of another, but here are two common ones and how we can fight against them. Note that there is nothing inherently wrong with desiring well-behaved, intelligent children; our desire only becomes destructive when we give it more attention than it deserves.
Idol #1: Well-behaved children .

Your child is shy? It must be because she's homeschooled.

Your child is hyper? It must be because he's homeschooled.

Your child has tempers, talks too much, dresses like a geek, and uses uber nerdy words? Obviously it's because he's homeschooled.

Truth is, I don't want my child labeled, or awkward, a misfit, or the odd one out and I certainly don't want to be the one to blame for their behavior. So sometimes I idolize what I want them to be and who I want them to become. Maybe if I can raise perfect, socially acceptable children (whatever that is), then I won't be "at fault" for keeping them home.

However, when I start believing that I am solely responsible for how my children behave, I forget that sin lives within each of their hearts and that only God's grace is powerful enough to overcome it. If I consider myself to be the solution, I have idolized both my children's behavior and my parenting abilities... and attempting to raise children outside of God's help is guaranteed failure.

Well-behaved children are solely the result of God's grace at work in their lives and His undeserved blessing on our weak and imperfect obedience to His promises and commands:

• "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
• "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
• "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." Proverbs 29:17
• "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 22:15

Similarly, we homeschool moms often fall into the trap of idolizing smart children - especially if we don't have a teaching degree.

Despite statistics that tell us a teaching degree makes no difference in the education of a homeschooled child, we still feel a need to "prove" ourselves to people who knock homeschooling without taking a look at its incomparable track record (see also here). If our kids are smart, then maybe people will believe we're intelligent enough to homeschool.

Ironically, we feel that the way to make others understand that we're not ripping our kids off on their education is to abide by the school's schedule, use the school's curriculum, adopt the school's teaching methodologies, and do everything opposed to the very reasons most folks homeschool in the first place!

If we are parenting according to God's promises, we ought to expect good behavior from our children; certainly teaching them to apply themselves to their studies so that they can use the gifts they've been given for God's glory is an eternally rewarding goal.

But the moment our desire becomes an idol, the moment the performance of our children and how it is viewed by the watching world holds more sway over our hearts than God's unique plan for their lives, the moment we make things about us, our pride, our reputation, our success - at that moment, we begin to erect a barrier between our homeschool and the God who demands the whole of our worship on one hand and offers everything we need for life and godliness (including the raising of our children) in the other (Exodus 20:3; 2 Peter 1:3).

If we make God play second fiddle in our homeschool, the music will cease. The noise of and stress of finding the perfect parenting methodology and curriculum, satisfying the standard of a culture whose worldview yours shouldn't resemble, and pressuring your children to meet the expectations of people who really don't care about them will drown out your vision and sap your joy.

How do we get rid of these idols?

Crowd out any room for them with God.

If we saturate ourselves in God's Word and clothe ourselves in prayer, not only is the foothold for idols removed, but we will be immersed in precious promises that give clarity, purpose, and vision to our homeschool. The desire for socially acceptable, smart kids will fade into the background when we understand that nothing is more important than their salvation and a humble and joyful obedience to the law of God, socially accepted or not.

What's drowning your vision and sapping your joy? Give it over to the Lord and let Him receive the worship your soul craves to give.

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints. Ephesians 6:10-18 ___________________________
Looking for more homeschool encouragement? Check out our brand new book, Homeschooling Day by Day which I was honored to co-author. It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from Moms on every stage of the journey. You can purchase your copy for $4.99 or read the Table of Contents here.

If you enjoyed this post, you may wish to follow Growing Home for updates via Google Friend Connect, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google +, or have them emailed directly to your inbox.This post contains affiliate links. Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman., Hip Homeschool Moms, Living and Learning at Home, Walking Redeemed, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom,

Flipping through the Dictionary the other day, I discovered something about myself.

-ist a suffix of nouns, often corresponding to verbs ending in -ize or nouns ending in -ism, that denote a person who practices or is concerned with something, or holds certain principles, doctrines, etc. Origin: Middle English -iste < Latin -ista < Greek -istēs; in some words, representing French -iste, German -ist, Italian -ista, etc.,A lyricist is one who writes words to a song.

A perfectionist is one who wants things to be perfect.

A terrorist is one who causes terror.

An herbalist is one who specializes in herbs.

A feminist, in the truest sense of the word, is one who is concerned with femininity. And so it is that I am a feminist.

Logically, the only One authorized to define femininity is the Creator of females. That means God (not Marie Stopes, Coco Chanel, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, or culture), gets to describe - no, order -what a true feminist ought to look like. He does so in Proverbs 31:

• She is pure (v. 10).
• She is a trustworthy treasure to her husband (v. 10,11, 12, 23, 28b, 29).
• She is concerned for the well-being of her family (v. 13, 14, 15, 18b, 19, 22, 27).
• She is hard-working and industrious (v. 13-22, 24, 27, 31).
• She is clothed with strength and dignity (v. 17, 25).
• She is skilled in managing finances (v. 14, 16).
• She is courageous in character (v. 25, 29).
• She is kind and compassionate (v. 20, 26).
• She is wise (v. 26).
• She is praised by her children and husband (v. 28, 29).
• She is holy (v. 30).
• She is blessed (v. 31).

Biblical femininity says men and women are equal in importance, status, honor, and dignity (Genesis 3:18). Both men and women are equally fallen (Romans 2:23), and equally able to be rescued from their sin and condemnation through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ (John 3:16).

However equal, their roles are different. God’s purpose for humanity includes complementary relationships between men and women so that a lost and dying world can be confronted with the Gospel through living portraits of God's love for His Bride, the Church.

Husbands are to picture Christ by loving their wives (Ephesians 5: 25-33; 1 Peter 3:7), and wives are to be submissive to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Timothy 2:12). Men are responsible for leading their families spiritually and supporting them financially (1 Timothy 3:4; 5:8). Wives, in addition to the duties outlined in Proverbs 31, are exhorted to love their husbands, love their children (which assumes desiring them), keep a home, and live in obedience, meekness, and a quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of both God and her husband (Titus 2:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6).
"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16 (emphasis mine)Sin oppresses women. Sin from within ourselves, and sin that comes at us through other men and women. Sin makes us desire roles we were not created to fulfill. Sin makes us reject authority rather than be submissive to it. Sin glorifies climbing a corporate ladder over serving "the least of these" at home. Sin calls meekness "weakness," and favors boldness over quietness in a woman. Sin puts me first and my family last. Sin blurs scripturally distinctive gender roles and makes the opposite of God's design seem more attractive.

Jesus came to set us free from the sin that holds us in bondage. Freedom and liberation are not found in departing from God's design, but submitting to it out of obedience and love to the One who bought our salvation, purpose, status, dignity, and value with His blood (John 14:15; 1 Corinthians 7:23; Romans 6:22)."Feminism" doesn't liberate women; Jesus does.
"Feminism" isn't feminine at all. "Feminists" are really masculinists: people who are concerned with becoming masculine. Until females become feminine and males become masculine as God created them to be, relying on His forgiveness and grace for freedom and fulfillment within their roles, they will continue to feel oppressed, confused, shackled, afflicted, and demand their "rights" to positions God did not give them.

Let women be feminists: those who are concerned with femininity.

Let men be masculinists: those who are concerned with masculinity.

Let us all be concerned with the chief end of man: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (The Westminster Shorter Catechism, Q & A 1; Ps. 86:9; Isa. 60:21; Rom. 11:36; I Cor. 6:20; 10:31; Rev. 4:11; Ps. 16:5-11; 144:15; Isa. 12:2; Luke 2:10; Phil. 4:4; Rev. 21:3-4).

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In Part 3 of this series, I emphasized the importance of keeping our priorities aligned as God desires (God, Spouse, Children, House) and listed 15 Good Things I DON'T Do so I can give them adequate attention.

You cannot schedule long, lingering hugs with your husband, heart-to-heart's with your children, or circumstances that bring you to your knees and compel you to worship your Creator; but you can learn how to manage your secondary duties efficiently. This does three things:

1. It affords you more time to invest in the souls entrusted to your care.
2. It keeps your home "company-ready," and open for hospitality, whereby some have entertained angels, unaware. (Hebrews 13:2)
3. It teaches your daughters, by your own example, how to care for their own homes one day.

There are thousands of books available to help learn how to organize your home (I'll list my favorites at the end of this post), so I'll keep it short and simply list a few small, but meaningful things that have been a great asset in helping me manage our own home:

Meals for the freezer. 1. Double up when you cook or bake. Get into the habit of cooking extra so you have one meal for dinner and one to put in the freezer or give away. It takes almost no extra time or energy to double (or triple) a recipe and having a healthy "heat-and-serve" meal available on busy days is a great stress reliever! Some of our favorite things to freeze are soups, chili, casseroles, muffins, cookies, and brownies.

Making granola and sweet potato fries in the kitchen while the kids do school at the table. 2. Make supper at breakfast. I try to make my meals in the morning, or at least get some of the prep work done while the kids are doing their independent work at the kitchen table. That way, if school takes longer than normal or we have swimming lessons in the afternoon, 5 o'clock isn't as rushed as it could be.

3. Learn to use the kitchen wonder-tool: your crock-pot! You don't even need to use a recipe. Throw in a frozen cut of meat, a few vegetables and some spices in the morning, cover and set to 'Low,' and you'll have a tender, flavorful meal ready by dinner.

Our "school" cabinet across from the kitchen. The small drawers contain our pencils, markers, crayons, glue sticks, erasers, etc., and the four larger drawers contain our workbooks (one for each child, and one for Mommy). 4. Manage your space efficiently. Don't make yourself walk across the kitchen to retrieve the pepper grinder while you're simmering soup. Keep your baking essentials in a cupboard above the area where your blender is stored; your plates and silverware in closest proximity to your table (or dishwasher, if you have one); the schoolbooks on a shelf or drawer near to where you normally do your lessons (for us, that's the kitchen); the toys where the children play.

An uncluttered house is easier to clean up! 5. Clear the clutter. Get rid of the stuff you wouldn't know was missing if it suddenly disappeared. Donate, re-gift, recycle, or throw out. You'll spend less time trying to organize and clean what you don't need and your home will feel bigger and brighter. Cleaning up their toys will also be less daunting for your children when they have fewer of them to put away (you can read more about the toy storage system for our small house here).

A typical wash day: Charity (4) helps me fold (she's better than I am!), Judah (2) mountain climbs the unfolded pile, and Anna (7 months) watches us for entertainment. 6. Devote specific days to specific tasks. This is not a new idea. For Ma Ingalls and other pioneer women, each day had its own chore:
Wash on Monday. Iron on Tuesday, Mend on Wednesday, Churn on Thursday, Clean on Friday, Bake on Saturday, Rest on Sunday. Nowadays, with machines that speed up a great deal of these things and imported products that are cheaper to buy than make, my list looks a little different but the principle is the same. In addition to homeschooling everyday, I typically do laundry on Monday, groceries on Tuesdays, freezer cooking and baking on Wednesdays, swimming lessons and the bulk of my writing/blog business on Thursdays, housework on Fridays, outside work on Saturdays, rest on Sundays.

7. Multitask. I make dinner while the kids are doing their schoolwork at the kitchen table, check my emails or read aloud when I'm nursing, dust when I have a phone call to make, and review memory work while we're folding laundry.

What I aim to have our kitchen look like before going to bed at night. 8. Clean up the night before. I'm much more excited and motivated to start my day when I wake up to a clean kitchen and a tidy house. Every evening after supper, Brad and I wash and dry the dishes while the kids clean up their toys. They are rewarded with a bedtime story if they get the living room (also our play area) neatly organized before we're finished.

9. Ensure you're are being spiritually fed. You can read the scriptures out loud to your children while you are nursing, sing Psalms at the kitchen sink with your two-year-old, or pray while you're driving. I keep my Bible on my nightstand so it's the first thing I see every morning before starting my day.
"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

When I remember to wear one, a pretty apron makes me feel like a real homemaker! My favorite ones come from Flirty Aprons. 10. Dress for the job. There's a reason the corporate world abides by a professional dress code. Dressing for success often leads to success. Your clothes make a strong visual statement about how you view your job. Comfort aids productivity and your personal, creative, feminine style tells the world your role is freeing, not stifling. Decide what you're going to wear the night before and put it next to your bed. Commit to not leaving the bedroom until you're dressed!

If you struggle with the temptation to stay in your robe like I do, I highly recommend reading Frumps to Pumps: Your 1-Month Motivotional to Getting Dressed and Staying That Way by Sarah Mae.

11. Take care of yourself physically. Eat healthy, take your vitamins, get fresh air, shower, go to bed on time, and adopt an attitude of joy that will energize you for the tasks at hand.

My very simple meal plan on a magnetic menu pad I found at Wal-Mart. 12. Meal plan. I'm not a rigid meal-planner, but I like to have a week's worth of dinners written down so I have a general idea of what I can prepare in the morning. It also saves me time and money at the grocery store.

13. Unplug. Turn off your distractions. Consider getting rid of the TV if it keeps you from going to bed on time and get an emergency only plan for your cell phone. Unplug the computer if you won't be needing it for several hours and keep it in an inconvenient location so it's a pain to check Facebook when you're supposed to be homeschooling.

Before and after the kids have cleaned up the living room/play area. 14. Involve the whole family. Managing a home doesn't mean you have to do all the work; it means you are responsible for seeing that the work gets done. Don't assume your children are going to learn how to run a home by osmosis. Let them take responsibility by giving them their own chores, and in the process of teaching them life skills, you will find more time to engage in fun, memorable family activities like hiking, tobogganing, or traveling together.

15. Stay home. Novel concept, isn't it? If too many trips out are keeping you from fulfilling your duties at home, it's time to cut back. I try to set aside one morning a week to do all of my grocery shopping and limit our extra-curricular activities. Currently, we're involved in swimming lessons and leave one other afternoon open for visits to the library, a friend's house, or a field trip. I don't go to Ladies Bible Study at Church and rarely go shopping "just for the fun of it."

My to-do list, decorated by someone who found a pen. 16. Make lists. Remember all of those careers being a homemaker encompasses? Making bite-size lists can do wonders when you're feeling overwhelmed. You can see exactly what needs to be done and get the satisfaction of crossing off a task when it has been completed.
17. Just do the next thing. When your kitchen sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, the floor is sticky, and dinner still needs to be made, just do the next thing. Don't look over your whole list or get side-tracked by thirteen other things that are calling for your attention. Just pick up the dish-brush, fill your sink with hot, soapy water, and do the next thing.

18. Accept help when it is offered and ask for it when it's not. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness or failure; it means you're a human who understands that no one can do it all. Asking for help humbles a person and opens their eyes to the community of believers that God has arranged to encourage and support each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11-13).

If you could recommend one life-altering home management tip, what would it be?

Recommended Resources
These are affiliate links for books I love, which means I make a small commission if you choose to purchase through them, but please don't feel obligated to do so!

• Large Family Logistics by Kim Breneman
• More Hours In My Day by Emilie Barnes
• Saving Dinner Basics by Leanne Ely
• Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley (The FlyLady)
• The Christian Homemaker's Handbook by Pat Ennis
• The Family Manager Takes Charge by Kathy Peel
• The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark

Part 1: Keeping A Growing Home | A Management Series for Moms Part 2: Keeping A Growing Home | Know Your Role! Part 3: Keeping A Growing Home | Making Priorities & 15 Good Things I Don't Do Part 4: Keeping A Growing Home | Time-Saving Home Management Tips Part 5: Keeping A Growing Home | My Daily Schedule

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Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman.,Walking Redeemed, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Hearts For Home, Frugal Homeschool Family,