We're down to the single-digit countdown with just 9 weeks to go before our baby is due to arrive! With it comes the decision of whether to have a third home-birth or our first hospital birth. In my heart, despite all the complications we've experienced with this pregnancy, I'd love to attempt another home-birth. This decision has been met with no shortage of criticism, all of it well-intended, I'm sure. Everyone genuinely desires what's best and safest for Mom and Baby, and for that we're very thankful.
This post is an attempt to explain why we still think a home-birth is the favorable option for us.
Charity, just a few minutes old! Our first home-birth.
First, I am not opposed to going to the hospital. Some people believe that we think having a hospital birth is displaying a lack of faith in God. I don't know where that idea came from, but it's simply not true! We want to have this baby wherever it is safest for both myself and our child. If that means birthing at the hospital, then that's where we'll happily be! In fact, our plan is to deliver there regardless, if any of the following situations arise:
- I go into labor pre-term.
- My midwife (with 25+ years of experience) suspects any complications, or is given any reason for concern.
- I have any more scary trips to the ER between now and baby's due date.
- I change my mind and decide the hospital sounds more relaxing and reassuring.
Second, the subchorionic hemorrhages responsible for numerous trips to the ER, 20 weeks of bed-rest, regular Rhogam injections, and 9 ultrasounds generally have nothing to do with the labor and delivery of a baby. Precautions during the actual pregnancy are taken because of concern for placental abruption. From the several dozen mothers I've heard from who've experienced the same thing, no one has said it affected their labor and delivery any differently than a normal pregnancy; no one has died as a result; and no one was rushed or transferred to the hospital mid-labor due to hematoma itself. Typically, the blood clot will come out, intact, with the after-birth.
Third, we really trust and value our midwife's opinion. We've met with several other obstetricians during the course of this pregnancy and no one makes us feel as comfortable, assured, and well-taken care of as she does. She has over 2 decades of experience and has successfully delivered babies to mothers with the same condition as mine. She's trained to look for possible complications before an emergency arises and knows when to transfer to the hospital if need be. All of her predictions about how this pregnancy would go have been true while our obstetrician has yet to be correct in his diagnosis.
Fourth, I'm relaxed and hence, labor easier at home. We've had two babies born in our bedroom now and I've loved everything about it: utilizing the birth pool, birthing ball, bed, bath, or stool whenever I felt like it; the tender care of a midwife who's known me for most of pregnancies and knows what I like and don't like; listening to soothing music playing softly in the background; eating and drinking whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted; falling asleep in our own bed with my own pillow shortly after giving birth; the freedom to move around as I pleased without getting lost or being seen by anyone; enlisting the help of gravity through various positions (i.e. no lying on my back unless I felt like it); no unnecessary medical interventions or distractions; having the option of going to the hospital (5 minutes from our house) available; less risk of contracting infections or disease, etc.
Judah - a few seconds old! Our second home-birth.
We know there are people who think we're irresponsible and foolish for desiring a home-birth in light of a complicated pregnancy. Perhaps they're right, but please understand that this isn't a decision we're making lightly. We've spent hours researching our options and making this a matter of prayer. We're not dead-set against hospital births and will gladly birth there if we decide that seems like the wisest thing to do.
Telling us horror stories of home-births gone wrong or insinuating that we must not love our child if we're willing to risk its life by delivering at home is neither kind nor helpful, particularly if you've never experienced a home-birth yourself. For each scary home-birth story there is an equivalent hospital one.
Right now, we really just covet your prayers for wisdom to do the right thing, your love (saying something like, "See? I told you so!" if we end up delivering at the hospital would be particularly hurtful), and support. That means more to us than you'll ever know!
Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, A Mama's Story, Time-Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies, Raising Arrows, The Modest Mom