My Blog = My Life: vision

Home school conventions and curriculum fairs are full of them: stressed-out homeschooling moms in search of the "perfect" curriculum. Anxious faces suggest meandering through the crowded hallways and sifting through myriads of material is no easy task. Moms stop other moms to ask, "What curriculum do you use?", hoping to discover the link to a successful school year.

What am I really asking when I implore another homeschooling mother about her curriculum choice? Because in all honesty, the curriculum she uses with her children probably won't help me with mine.

Giving myself the benefit of the doubt, perhaps her child does learn the same way as my child. Maybe that's why I'm curious. Maybe I really am looking for the most effective way to teach my child their ABC's and 123's.

Or maybe, I'm liking the way her kids are turning out and want my kids to turn out like that too.

It's silly isn't it? That I can think the key to a successful home school lies in a brand of textbooks. It's silly that I can stress over curriculum as if my choice will make my child turn out okay. I can put more thought into how they're going to learn the comparably insignificant three R's when my focus ought to be teaching them about our ruin in Adam, redemption in Jesus, and the renewing of our hearts and lives by the Holy Spirit.

What an awful lot of unnecessary pressure we put ourselves under, when ultimately, it's the grace and power of a super-natural God that is absolutely necessary to make any home school successful!

In the end, it matters not whether Johnny learns to read. Reading won't get him into Heaven. Neither will his ability to write, compute numbers, or dissect a frog.

"If you try to give people knowledge, and you haven't trained them in character, based on faith, they will become intellectual reprobates." - Doug Phillips
In the end, what matters is my child's salvation. This is not something that can be found in a curriculum, worksheet, or activity binder. I can't give them a page of multiple choice questions and give them a passing grade. I can't do anything to make their salvation happen.

Hallelujah!

From beginning to end, salvation is the work of the Holy Spirit, applying the atonement Jesus paid for with His blood to sinners who God loved for no reason in ourselves (Hebrews 7:25).

This is what gives me hope as a home school mom. The God who can save my child is the same God who takes no delight in the death of the wicked, but desires everyone to come to repentance (Ezekiel 33:11). He is the same God who promised that those who seek Him shall find Him (Proverbs 8: 17). And these promises are certain because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrew 13:8).

Therefore, as a homeschooling mom, I ought to be pouring my energies, sweat, and tears not into curriculum, but into familiarizing my children with the Bible because faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God (Romans 10:17).

Don't get me wrong. We ought to do due diligence in choosing curriculum that corresponds to the individual needs of our children. But if it's not working, don't sweat it. There is one thing needful in a child's education, and that is to sit at Jesus' feet (Luke 10:42).

Start your day in God's Word. Choose curriculum that is Word-centered. Pray for the salvation of your children. Present them with the Gospel as you sit in your house, walk along the road, when you tuck them in bed at night, and when you get up (Deuteronomy 5: 6,7).

Go forward and home school in hope. The salvation of your child does not hinge on your curriculum choice; it rests on the finished work of Jesus Christ who has freely offered Himself in the Gospel.

Linking to: Raising Homemakers,, Deep Roots At Home, Wise Woman, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, Walking Redeemed, A Mama's Stoary

If there's one thing I've observed in 13 years of being homeschooled and now as a second-generation homeschooling mom, it's that home educators seem particularly susceptible to turning their children into trophies of achievement. This is not an argument against homeschooling (I sing its praises all the time!), but rather, a reminder (mostly to myself) to guard against the temptation to show off our children in an attempt to prove our "greatness" as a teacher.

John S.C. Abbot in his excellent book, The Mother At Home, records the response of a preacher after being highly commended by one of his parishioners following a sermon:
"Be careful, my friend," said the clergyman, "I carry a tinder-box in my bosom."If a great man of God so easily admits his propensity to an inflamed ego, how much more dangerous do we make things for ourselves and our children when we place them in situations where they're sure to be flattered?

The reason I think homeschoolers are prone to this is because many times as both mothers and teachers, we feel as though we need to prove our worth. It's worse if you *gasp* don't happen to have a teaching degree. We want to prove to our parents that our children are indeed learning to read (and quite well by age 4), to the local school-board that their education is not sub-standard ("See? Our daughter's GPA is a 4.0. I've kept records!"), and to skeptical church members that they are well socialized ("Oh, you tried to call this week? Sorry I missed it! We had soccer on Monday, music lessons on Tuesday, volunteered in the soup kitchen on Wednesday, dinner guests on Thursday, etc., etc.")

Now, there's nothing wrong with Grandma delighting in her grandchild learning to read, but turning our children into exhibitions is unhealthy for everyone involved.

First, it hurts children - yours and others. Our efforts to raise our children with a spirit of humility quickly become undone when out of pride and insolence we thrust them forward onto the attention of others, show off their intellectual attainments, and relish the flattering words our families and friends feel compelled to dish out.

I've seen homeschooling moms, in front of their children, publicly praise one child for performing their studies two grade levels ahead of where they "should" be, while simultaneously pointing out that the other child is "not the academic type - but that's okay! We need all kinds!" The first child walks off with her head held high ("Mom thinks I'm the smart one!") while the other is left feeling inferior and worthless simply because her talents lie in different areas. It's devastating to exalt one child above another and defeats a key reason people homeschool in the first place!

Second, it hurts those considering homeschooling. A few years ago, we invited friends along to our provincial homeschooling conference. At the time, they were just considering the possibility and we were excited about them spending a whole weekend immersed in the subject. However, things back-fired a little when one of the very first moms to introduce herself after we arrived began a spiel about how young her children were when they began university and how they lead such godly lives, etc. She meant of course, to present homeschooling in a positive light, but to those still on the fence about the issue, it came across as prideful, arrogant, and extremely off-putting.

Thankfully, our friends stuck around and met many other homeschooling families over the course of the weekend and discovered that not everybody spouts off all their accomplishments and how wonderful it all is within minutes of meeting you.

If you happen to be one of those moms with 8 polite, finely-dressed, instrument-playing, intellectually astute children to whom homeschooling comes easily, I say: Well done! Be thankful for your gifts, hone your strengths, use them to serve others... and keep your successes to yourself unless asked. Remember:
"Your walk talks and your talk talks. But your walk talks more than your talk talks."Third, it hurts you. Our lives will greatly lack in joy unless we get over the need to prove ourselves. Continually trying to live up to the expectations of others, real or perceived, is exhausting and draining. You risk your children drifting away or buckling under fear of not measuring up. You yourself may be rendered useless as a homeschooling mom when you fail to meet your own impossible standard.

We will always be found wanting if we try to find our satisfaction, purpose, and sense of worth as a homeschooling mom in how well we teach our children or what they manage to learn. It's only the grace of God that makes any of us capable of accomplishing anything. A full and humble reliance on His redemptive work is the only way we can find true satisfaction in the job He has called us to do.

Let it not be our children or our teaching skills we hold out as trophies, but God's extraordinary grace which works despite our failures, shortcomings, insecurities, and sinful struggles. You, your children, and those looking on will be blessed and refreshed when they realize your strength does not come from within yourself but from the Lord who gives freely to all who ask (James 1:5).

Linking to: Holy-Spirit Led Homeschooling

***UPDATE: the comments have been closed on this post***

The implied rule that college is the key to success is being broken. More and more people are finding the courage to battle the ivory tower with story after story of evidence that proves success has little to do with a piece of paper and everything to do with good character, a hard work ethic, the ability to self-educate, and God's blessing on the hands He's given, applied to the jobs He's provided, with the knowledge He's blessed us with.

Proponents of the college experience often say things like, "You need college to get a job," and, "We need more Christians in higher positions."

The first statement is false. How many famous, rich, and successful high school and college dropouts besides Winston Churchill, Benjamin Franklin, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Patrick Henry, Abraham Lincoln and Mark Zuckerberg will it take to debunk this myth?

I look around and see "uneducated" high school dropouts running successful, twenty-five year businesses that support larger-than-average, single income families who send their children to private school. I see college and university grads employed in jobs outside of their field of study. I see college and university grads entering marriage with massive amounts of debt, or putting off marriage and having a family until they can "afford" it. I see mothers working outside the home to ensure that the time and money invested into their diploma is not wasted.

I see all kinds of things that ought to make us pause and consider whether college is as essential as we've come to believe. (Notice I said college, not higher education, or even degrees.)

The second statement, while certainly a noble aspiration, is degrading and constructs a demoralizing and falsified method of rating people's value to society based on their position. Though never spoken outright, the professor is revered as more honorable than the plumber, the lawyer more important than the mechanic, the twenty-three-year-old graduate from teacher's college as more knowledgeable than the veteran homeschool mom of seven. Schooling trumps skills; degrees trump diligence and discipline; education trumps experience.

Should we encourage Christians to pursue "top positions?" Absolutely! But we must not forget that societal reform doesn't need to start at the top. Is the impact of one Christian president more valuable than millions of honest, diligent, hardworking Christian men and women who serve and interact with their local communities every day?

Melanie Ellison addresses all these concerns and many more, including faith and fidelity, in her outrageously honest, eye-opening book, Chucking College.

Birthed from her own experience at a supposedly conservative Christian college, Melanie was determined to achieve a higher education and success without the corruption she encountered there. She dropped out of college and at twenty-three, she is a published author, doula, birth photographer, and runs her own business sewing and selling professionally made, high-quality linens.

Chucking College exposes several dangers we'd do well to assess. Among them:

• A peer-rich environment. "College living promotes a habit of relating almost exclusively with peers. No real-world families with children and/or the elderly are present on campus. Consequently, it is easy for students to forget about lifetime priorities in a four-year bubble of unreality. The absence of wise elders in young people's lives is sadly felt as they aim more and more toward the lowest common denominator instead of growing through the prudent counsel of those who have gone before." pg. 103
• Liberal professors. "In 2003, the Center for the Study of Popular Culture conducted a study of thirty-two elite colleges, and found that of the faculties represented, 'the overall ratio of registered Democrats to registered Republicans was more than 10 to 1.' Compare that to the rest of America's population where closer to half of the people have conservative voter registrations. 'The ratios themselves are impossible to understand in the absence of a political bias.'" pg. 50
• Academic deficiency. "College courses are dumbed down to what used to be a high school level, so that students who do not excel in academics can pass. Yes, people who are not academically inclined go to college (trade schools would be a much better fit for many of them). They don't really belong in a university, but many administrations want to falsely encourage them to continue their studies as long as possible to collect tuition from them." pg. 53
• Astronomical debt. "The seemingly insurmountable debt burden of college makes many young people suicidal and hopeless rather than excited about flourishing in their future vocations... Debt rules a person's life, causing them to make decisions they might not make if they were not under the burden of creditors (such as delaying having children, or having to stick with an hourly wage job instead of seeking to become entrepreneurial, etc.)." pg. 85
• Valuing degrees over skills. "... think creatively to find some way way outside the mainstream "degree-first" mentality. Remember that a degree is an arbitrary measure that may or may not prove a person's expertise as a worker. In the workplace, skills get people hired." pg. 151

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Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman., Walking Redeemed,, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Time Warp Wife, The Prairie Homestead,

Yesterday Iwoke up overwhelmed - never a good sign. My to-do list for the day was longer than my arm. I wanted to crawl back under the covers and hibernate until the middle of January until after the Christmas dust had settled.

The schedule for the day included attending our Ladies Christmas Tea at Church - something I look forward to every year. Something I was supposed to bring homemade goodies along to as a gift to our Senior members and shut-ins.

I hadn't baked anything.

Also on the list was finishing an article for Free Homeschool Deals, picking up a car-seat swing for our new church, buying a birthday present for my brother, baking cookies for two separate exchanges, tackling seven loads of laundry, and replying to an overflowing inbox... after homeschooling and taking care of supper.

I wanted to cry. I felt stressed and irritable. When I'm stressed and irritable, I get snappy. I've learned that snapping at my kids doesn't make them work any faster or harder; it drags them down and puts a wedge in our relationship. Ain't Momma happy, ain't nobody happy.

I didn't want my kids to have another day with a snappy Mom. They had too many of those already this month. Something had to give, and I decided it wasn't going to be them. They had given me plenty of grace lately, more than I was worthy of.

I cancelled everything.

I didn't go to the Ladies Tea. I emailed the hosts of the cookie exchanges I had committed to and apologized for over-committing myself; I just couldn't do it this year. I turned off the computer and refused to check my email until the kids were in bed. I closed the door to the laundry room and put the "out of sight, out of mind" rule to the test. Picking up the swing and buying the birthday present could wait until tomorrow.

I cleared the schedule. I had a day free of commitments; a day where I could enjoy my children all to myself and they could enjoy a happy Mommy whose focus was on them and not the things she had to prepare or the places she had to go.

I started the morning with devotions, something I had skipped for a few days because I was "too busy." Ironic and shameful isn't it? The Christmas Season was too busy for me to spend time with the Reason for the Season.

I found my place in 1 Corinthians.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends... " 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
"Oh, Lord," I prayed, "please help me to love the precious souls you've entrusted into our care with that kind of love today."

I woke up the kids by whispering "Mommy loves you! We're going to have a super fun day today!" They opened their eyes immediately and smiled. "We are? What are we going to do? Are we going somewhere?" "Nope. We're just going to stay home all day. Mommy's going to play with you, and read books, and we're going to have lots of fun doing school!"

"Okay! I'm excited about that, Mommy!" I didn't rush them to get dressed or scarf down their breakfast. There was no reason to hurry. They were in the best of moods and I found myself enjoying their chatter. How had I let those adorable giggles get on my nerves?

They laughed when I told them they could do three jumping jacks for every flashcard they got correct. They got more right then the day before when I told them how many they were getting wrong.

We baked cookies, seven dozen of them. I put away my perfectionist tendencies and let the kids help me roll the dough balls. They weren't uniform in size like they are when I roll them. There were small cookies, and big cookies; cookies that looked like snakes, and cookies that looked liked they were rolled by a two-year-old. They looked better than they ever had. Tasted better too.

We read books on the couch, one child leaning on my right shoulder, one child leaning on my left shoulder, and a baby on my lap trying to eat the pages. "Can we read another one?" they asked. "We like it when you read us books!"

They felt satisfied by the undivided attention and went off to play. I started tackling the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink and had the counters sparkling by dinner. We enjoyed the Cream of Broccoli Soup that the kids helped me make.

Not everything was picture perfect about our day. The potty-training child had more than one accident, the baby was teething, I burned the last batch of cookies, and the living room was far from spotless by the time Brad came home from work. Many times I had to remind myself, "love is patient and kind... love endures all things... "

But our day was happy, peaceful, and far more productive than I had imagined it would be. I enjoyed my kids and they enjoyed their Mom.

Quite possibly, I disappointed more than one person by cancelling all my plans, but I didn't disappoint our kids. You can't please everyone all the time; sometimes you have to pick and choose who gets your attention and who is going to feel slighted even if slight is never intended.

I'm no expert (as evidenced by the circumstances that led up to this day), but if you have to choose between your children or another thing, or place that needs your attention, choose the souls that have been entrusted to your care. Cookie exchanges and Christmas Teas are lovely but happy, peaceful children in a happy, peaceful home with a happy, peaceful mother are even lovelier.

If the busyness of the Christmas Season has you wound up tighter than an eight-day clock, consider making the following changes:

• Just say "no." Practice with me, "Nooooooooo." That's it! You can also add "I've got too much on my plate right now," for clarification.
• Ask your husband. This advice comes from my friend Stephanie at Who Can Stand. She says, "Andrew never minds if I want to "blame" him for having to turn something down. We got this wonderful idea from Gord and Paula, and it seems men are less likely to care what others think than we are. So if it is easier to say, "Oh, I just can't take that on - my husband thinks I've got too much already," then check with Brad and see if you can 'blame' him too!"
• Spend time with the Christ of Christmas. You cannot survive without Him, but you can thrive within Him.
• Subscribe to Homeschooling Enrichment. Seriously. I love curling up with this extraordinary Christian homeschooling magazine for inspiration and vision at the end of long days. It ignites the fire when it's almost out, helps me re-focus, and keep my priorities aligned as they should be (You can read more about why I love it here, or purchase it for 58% OFF the cover price here).
• Clear your schedule. Wipe it clean. Commit to nothing but your kids. See if it's not the best day of the year, in their books and in yours.
• Determine not to yell at your children to obey. Otherwise, you are actually training them not to obey until you shout. Call and instruct them in your regular voice. Correct them calmly, firmly, and consistently until they respond promptly to your first call.
• Remember that a good education is life-integrated and not confined to a textbook. Make it fun! Reward correct answers with jumping jacks Count baking cookies as Home Ec. Sing carols around the neighborhood for Music. Read Luke 2 for Bible Time. Teach fractions with the clementines you're snacking on. Go tobogganing or skating for Phys Ed.
• Take a break. Who says you can't?
• Tell your kids you love them. It's hard to feel stressed or angry when you say those three uplifting words: "I love you."

Looking for more practical homeschool encouragement? Our new eBook, Homeschooling Day by Day is available for $2.00 until January 17! It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from homeschooling Moms on every stage of the journey. You can read the Table of Contents here.

Homeschooling Day By Day: $2.00 40 Chapters (with Discussion Questions)
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This post contains affiliate links. Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman.,Walking Redeemed,, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Hearts For Home, Frugal Homeschool Family Time Warp Wife

... is something I've never said, nor believe, but often assumed about me because I advocate homemaking and the role of a stay-at-home mom.

I regularly receive emails and comments from people who are concerned I'm propagating the idea that girls need just enough schooling to get by as a wife and mother. Combine that false assumption with my real disappointment in secular colleges and the effect they have on women, and you'd think I was lobbying for discriminatory practices against my own kind.

I get letters everyday from earnest, sincere, highly-educated Moms that go like this:
"I feel so overwhelmed! Do you have any tips on how to stay on top of everything? My house always looks like a disaster and I just can't seem to figure out a schedule... ""What do you do when your husband wants to start a new business? I'm nervous about the idea and there's tension in our marriage. I know he's supposed to be the leader and I'm supposed to be submissive, how do you deal with this kind of situation?" "Do you have any healthy snack ideas for toddlers? I'm not really handy in the kitchen, but I know sugar isn't good for them so I'm wondering if you have any recommendations... "I'm always surprised to discover these questions typically come from college graduates; teachers, nurses, and others turned homemakers. They have exchanged their diploma for their MRS degree, believing (as I do) that the most important place for a mother is in the home. In the face of cultural opposition, they see the value of a homemaker and understand her importance in light of Scripture.

But they feel lost and overwhelmed. They anticipated this was a role they could just "slip into" when the time came, but now that it's here, they wonder why they invested all those years and all that money into a degree that feels useless.

Why did no one ever encourage them to study how to be a good wife and mother? Isn't it supposed to come naturally? If homemaking doesn't take much thought or foresight, then why this feeling of being caught off guard? How can the most difficult thing they've ever signed up for require no intentional study or preparation? Why don't they offer homemaking degrees? There's a lifetime of material to study here!

What does submission look like? If my husband does something I don't agree with, how do I make an appeal? What system should I use to stay on top of the laundry? How do I decide what's the best method of education for my child? My husband loves steak and potatoes, but I've never grilled before. How do I know when the meat is done?

Our culture tells our girls they need to pursue a degree so they can be independent, and be able to provide for themselves (neither of which are biblical concepts). "Not everyone gets married," they warn, "and not everyone is able to have children."

We encourage them to pour their energies into one career, instead of recommending they study them all. We prepare them for singleness instead of God's normative plan for women: to be wives (love their husbands), mothers (love their children), and homemakers (keepers at home... that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3).

Then, they find themselves married. They want to be godly wives but after years and years of being trained to think as an independent rather than a co-dependent, they don't know how. They have children, but not a clue how to raise them. They have a home to manage, but are lost in the logistics of it all.

Homemaking quickly becomes burdensome and frustrating. This "mindless" occupation feminism tried to protect them from is more challenging than they thought. Contrary to popular ideology, it takes a great deal of intelligence and gumption to be a glorious homemaker (see video below for a 2.5-minute look into a stay-at-home Mom's typical day).

3 Queens from Matt Bieler on Vimeo.

How many unhappy marriages, broken homes, miserable, desperate wives, and rebellious children will it take before we admit that intentionally preparing our daughter to be keepers of the home is not just "a nice idea," but a necessary one? Harvey Bluedorn in Teaching the Trivium writes,
"We cannot prepare for all future possibilities. There is only so much time in the day. How is a young woman's best time spent? Should we spend much time preparing for the possibility that she will die in an automobile accident? Obviously not... The independent career woman should neither be the ideal or the norm. Emergencies may require that a woman take on tasks which should ordinarily be considered a man's calling, but a good education and training in all of the skills of a normal family will prepare a woman for almost any emergency. On the other hand, if we prepare our daughters to marry - to have a submissive spirit, to care for others, and rule their homes - then will we be surprised if they become loving wives and mothers with orderly and peaceful homes? Should our daughters never marry, what harm will come from having learned to have a submissive spirit, to care for others, and to rule their homes. Rather how much more good would come!" Chapter 15, pg. 438 (emphasis mine)Should a girl be highly educated?

Yes, yes, YES!

Let her study the culinary arts so she can grill a fine steak and bake a mean loaf of bread for her family.

Let her pursue reading, writing, and rhetoric so she can teach her children with confidence and excellence.

Let her learn all she can about medicine and herbs and vaccines so she can make informed decision regarding her family's healthcare.

Let her study child development and parenting techniques.

Let her explore birthing methods and midwifery so she can deliver her babies without fear.

Let her learn accounting so she can manage the books and balance the budget.

If she learns all these things well, she'll enter motherhood well prepared, and if she never marries, she'll have more than enough tools in her box to "make it on her own."

A godly keeper of the home is vital to a healthy family, which is the fundamental building block in every society. Without strong families, everything falls apart. If we truly want to start reforming our culture, we have to:

• Stop telling our girls that the purpose of their education is their future career
• Stop assuming they'll be the exception to God's normative call for women (Titus 2:3-5; Proverbs 31; Genesis 3:16 )
• Stop insisting that they should be able to provide for themselves (1 Peter 3:7; 1 Timothy 2:13; Ephesians 5:23; 1 Timothy 5:1-16)
• Stop encouraging them to further their studies in places that detract from the end goal
• Stop belittling girls who choose to further their education from home under the protection of their Dads
• Stop putting so much faith in degrees over real life skills and experience.
• Stop saying things like:

"It's nice that you want to be a Mom, but it's just not realistic. Nowadays you need a degree is you want to be able to provide for yourself (which is not necessarily true)."

"It's so cute she wants to be a Mom. That'll change soon enough when she realizes how much work it takes!"

Imagine if virtuous wives weren't so hard to find! Boys would have to be men, and our culture, by God's grace, would be transformed from a familial wasteland where feminism runs amok, to a landscape of beautiful marriages and healthy homes that picture the love between Christ and His Bride.

It's never too early to start preparing our daughters for the glorious future God has in store for them! Currently, we're using The ABC's of Godly Girls Bible Curriculum by Lindsey Stromberg, designed for girls aged 4-11. You can read my full review here.

If you enjoyed this post, you may wish to follow Growing Home for updates via Google Friend Connect, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google +, or have them emailed directly to your inbox. Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman.,Walking Redeemed,, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Hearts For Home, Frugal Homeschool Family Time Warp Wife

Who has the authority to decide who should or should not homeschool? What standard do we use? Does Johnny's inability to read at nine necessarily mean he'd be better off in school? Does taking a year away from the textbooks to tour the United States as a family qualify as an education? If 12-year-old Susie is working on Grade 9 algebra, writing at an 8th grade level, shares science lessons with her 11-year-old brother, and spells at a 5th grade level, is she behind, ahead or average? To whom does the responsibility of our children's education belong?

I'll give you a hint: the answer is hidden in the question ("Who's responsible for your child's education?").

It's not the NEA.

It's not the government.

It's not the church.

It's not the Ph.D. who scoffs at the dyslexic mother teaching her own children.

God says that you bear the responsibility for raising your child. (See Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:1,2,6,7; 11:18,19; 1 Samuel 28; 2:2; Psalm 78:1-7; Proverbs 4:3-5; 22:6; Galatians 4:2; Ephesians 6:1; 1 Thessalonians 2:11,12)

This doesn't mean that every parent must homeschool; it means that every parent is responsible for what their child is getting taught.

Most Christians agree with this in theory, but not in practice. For example, instead of "What about all the homeschoolers that shouldn't be homeschooling?" why are we not asking, "What about all the kids in public school who are subjected to an education that's failing miserably on every level?"

Why is the solution for homeschoolers who "shouldn't" be homeschooling to quit, but the solution for government schools is to "get fixed," when the more money we pour into the system, the worse it gets?

Perhaps it's because deep down, we fundamentally believe that we are not responsible for our children's education. Maybe the church is. Maybe the government is. Maybe the NEA is. Maybe experts are better off deciding what our children should learn and when.

Let me ask you, if it's not your responsibility to educate your child, then what is your responsibility? Who's job is it to see that they are clothed and fed, and have a roof over their head?

We can't just exempt ourselves from the parts of raising a child that make us feel uncomfortable or ill-equipped. God didn't delegate their religious instruction to the church, their academic education to the school, their housing and dietary needs to the state, and leave the easy, convenient parts for you.

You might not have a degree. You might be a highschool drop-out. You might even be illiterate (though I highly doubt it if you're reading this post). You can send your child to school and transfer your authority to someone else, or relinquish some of your control and direction to a private tutor, or instruct your child at your kitchen table. It doesn't matter how smart or dumb anyone thinks you are; if you have children, you are responsible for their education, just as you are responsible for feeding and clothing them.

The beauty of homeschooling is that it allows us to know what we are being responsible for. If I feel I'm not capable of teaching my child advanced algebra, I can give the authority to their mathematically-minded grandfather. I can hire my sister to give music lessons or ask my mother-in-law to teach our girls how to sew. They can come to our home, or I can sit in on the class, observe what my child is getting taught and ensure they are being respectful and listening attentively.

The luxury of attending a class you've given someone else the authority to teach is a perk of homeschooling not afforded those who send their child to school. Consider Cindy Dyer's observation in You Want A Christian Nation?:
"... try walking into {your child's} classroom unannounced and directing them to do jumping-jacks all the way out the door to the car. Not only would you be escorted from the premises for disrupting class, your child herself would look at you as if you were insane, and then she would disobey you. Instead, she’d look to her teacher to get her out of this crazy situation. This would happen not because you’re insane, but because she recognizes the authority of the state above your own. (Though you obviously are insane. I mean, really. Jumping jacks, mom? But you’re still her parent, and she is still sinning when she disobeys you.)
But let's have a less absurd example. Just go try to withdraw your child from school for a month of doing whatever you want to do. No explanation, no doctor’s note, no emergency. You just want to be with your child this month. See what the principal says about that. The very fact that you have to ask permission from a stranger who has no moral right to tell you what to do with your own child, rather than being able to politely and quickly retrieve your child, ought to tell you all you need to know." Parenting is a serious job because really, they're not our children; they are simply on loan to us from the Lord to raise for His purposes. I can't just do with them whatever I see fit. My responsibility is to raise them to love, honor, respect, and obey God, while being fully dependent on His mercy for their salvation. I must see to it that they are getting a Christian education that pleases the Lord, regardless of whether it's at home or abroad.

I am not taking my responsibility before God seriously if I sit behind the computer scrolling through my Facebook feed when I should be teaching math to children who are using their unsupervised freedom to hurl Mega Blocks at each other.

I am not taking my responsibility before God seriously if I allow my child to be taught that the earth evolved from stardust; that they are related to animals, and hence, bestiality may be permissible; that it's okay if Heather Has Two Mommies; that what's right for you might not be right for someone else; that standardized tests measure your value; that the purpose of education is your future career.

The question is, do you know what you're being responsible for? If you are uncomfortable about something your child is being taught, are you in a position to make the change that's needed? Do you view your job seriously enough to speak up even if it means you'll be viewed as "one of those parents?" Are you willing to make a curriculum change mid-year instead of trying to force it to work because you spent a lot of money on the program? Are you willing to make the sacrifices required in order to give your children everything you believe God requires in an education at home if it's not happening elsewhere?

Looking for more homeschool encouragement? Our new eBook, Homeschooling Day by Day is available for $4.99! It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from homeschooling Moms on every stage of the journey. You can read the Table of Contents here.

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Dear Friend Who Doesn't Homeschool,

We've been friends a long time, you and I. You might be a relative, a friend from Church, or my childhood Bestie. Either way, we've shared some great times together and it's an honor to call you my friend.

We're both married and have been blessed with children to raise. We bring each other meals when one of us is sick, share coffee now and then, and hope our kids will grow up being good friends too.

Each of us has had to make an important decision about our children's education. Will they go to public school? Private school? Or will we homeschool them?

We've made different choices. You've chosen to send your children to school and we've chosen to keep them home. Different factors have prompted us to choose different methods of education, but one thing guides us both: we want what's best for our children.

You don't have to explain your reasons to me, but if you want to talk about it, you know I'll gladly listen. I know you made your decision with conviction and out of a sincere desire to do what you believe is best for your child. I don't judge you for not homeschooling. That's not my call.

I just want you to know if you overhear me talking about homeschooling, see me share links on Facebook about homeschooling, or writing on my blog about homeschooling, it's not directed at you or about you.

Homeschooling is a part our life. A huge part. It consumes almost all of my waking hours. It's a lifestyle. Our hours are unreliable; sometimes we're done with the textbooks by 10:00am, sometimes we're still eating breakfast, but we're always learning. I talk about it a lot because it's as normal for us as breathing. Maybe not as natural (I often think I'm not cut out for it), but just as frequent.

So if you're trying to call and I don't pick up, it's not because I don't like you. We're probably in the middle of a Read-aloud, or I've got my hands covered in glue, or I'm trying to explain for the umpteenth time that if Old MacDonald has 1 rooster and 2 pigs, he has 3 animals altogether.

If I can't make it to our Girlfriends Luncheon, it's not because I don't want to be there. I guarantee I want to be munching on egg salad croissants and catching up with the ladies more than teaching math but we might have had a rough couple of days and need to get back on track. Or one of the kids might have swimming lessons. Or I'm having trouble finding a baby-sitter who's willing to watch them all.

I don't write about homeschooling on my blog because I don't want to talk to you about it face-to-face. I figure you'll probably ask me if you're interested and I don't want to annoy you if you're not.

I write about homeschooling to encourage other homeschooling moms and remind us of our vision, because boy, do we need it! We get spiteful comments thrown at us, hurtful letters written to us, and laws passed to restrict us. If our child can't read by the time he's eight and our house looks like a disaster, we begin to question our abilities forget the reasons we started down this journey.

When I say we homeschool because that's what we believe what God is calling our family to do, I'm not suggesting that non-homeschoolers are living in sin or that we're more spiritual than others because we've received a "special" calling. I say it to other homeschool moms because whether or not we feel like homeschooling, if we believe it's a scriptural principle, then not only is it worth doing, but God will also give us the grace to do it.

I also write to those who want to take away the one thing that guides both of our educational decisions: the freedom to choose what we believe is best for our children.

We're a minority group, albeit a growing one. People don't ask other people why they send their children to school; it's the normal thing to do. People ask people who homeschool why they homeschool because it's not the normal thing to do.

Things that aren't normal make people afraid and uncomfortable. No one likes to be uncomfortable or wrestle with things they'd rather ignore, so haters of homeschooling use unfounded accusations they hope will either silence those who promote it or affirm their own ideas about education.

From "real world" arguments, to academic achievement, to socialization and everything else in between, homeschooling holds its own when compared to other educational methods, yet we're getting attacked for doing simply doing what we believe is best for our children - just like everyone else.

I don't expect you to read my posts on homeschooling or "like" the links I share on Facebook. I'm not addressing them to you and tension is not my intention. I write about homeschooling because it's our passion; a home-based, parent-led, method of family discipleship that's worthy of defense and consideration; a freedom to be protected so we, like you, can do what we believe God is calling us to do.

With love,

Looking for more homeschool encouragement? Our new eBook, Homeschooling Day by Day is available for $4.99! It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from homeschooling Moms on every stage of the journey. You can read the Table of Contents here.

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"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" the cashier asked our 4 year-old daughter.

"My Mommy teaches me at home!" she replied excitedly. "Today I learned how to make '9.' You just go: 'Make a loop and then a line, this is how to make a nine!'"

"We homeschool them," I confirmed.

"Wow! So, you're a teacher?" she asked.

"Yes, I just don't have a degree," I laughed.

"You're allowed to do that?! I couldn't imagine being home with my kids all day. I need my break!" On a different topic, she turned to the kids and asked, "So are you guys all ready for Halloween?"

They gave her a blank stare.

"Sorry," I explained, "they don't know what Halloween is yet."

The poor cashier looked bewildered by us weird, sheltered homeschoolers.

Weird, as in, "not normal."

"Not normal," as in, we go shopping in the middle of the day with the whole family while everyone else is in school.

"Not normal," as in, I am their teacher and I don't even have a degree. Weirder still, it's perfectly legal and statistically better for children academically.

"Sheltered," as in, even though she's perfectly capable of politely and confidently articulating why she's not in school to a perfect stranger, our 4-year-old has no concept of Halloween and we don't plan on "enlightening" her any earlier than necessary.

It's a valid point, people ignorant or unfavorable to homeschooling make. We aren't normal and we do shelter our children.

I didn't know what the "f" word was until I was seventeen, and only then because I saw the letter in brackets on the front of a tabloid at a check-out and asked about it. I didn't know what "initiation" or "penny-pushing" was until our neighbor boy recalled his first day of public high school. I didn't know what "swirlies" or "nature wedgies" were until last week.

I suppose that makes me naive. But I wonder, of what redeeming value is there in exposing children to things that dishonor the Lord? Don't tell me it helps them prepare for the "the real world." In the world, you get fired or serve time for stuffing someone inside their locker or making them push pennies down the hallway with their nose.

I'm not suggesting hiding in a cave somewhere and excusing ourselves from ever having to face anyone but our family. I'm questioning the idea of subjecting our young children to all manner of evil so they can fit society's definition of "normal," instead of naive; "acceptable," instead of awkward; "welcomed," instead of weird.

It doesn't worry me if our kids can get away with wearing second-hand clothes, have never read Heather Has Two Mommies, aren't getting "sex" ed in Kindergarten, don't know what swear words are, have never played a video game, or stare blankly when someone asks them about Halloween.

Harvey Bluedorn in his excellent book, Teaching the Trivium (affiliate link), responds to the "real world" objection with:
"Adults need to learn to live righteously in the real world. Children do not have the maturity to properly respond to sophisticated cultural pressures. It is the job of the parents to instruct them and to test them in controlled situations, not simply sprinkle them with a few choice words of advice, then immerse them in an adverse world. If we taught swimming this way, most students would drown." Chapter 3, pg. 67
Naive? Possibly.

Sheltered? Definitely.

**************************
Looking for more homeschool encouragement? Our new eBook, Homeschooling Day by Day is available for $4.99! It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from homeschooling Moms on every stage of the journey. You can read the Table of Contents here.

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Answering "Why do you want to homeschool?" is difficult because it's a lifestyle not conducive to a one-sentence summary. We wanted a place to which we could direct inquisitive minds and remind ourselves of our vision when push comes to shove! Though we can't speak for everyone who homeschools, here's what we might say if you asked us why we want to.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." ~ Proverbs 29:18 1. We want to homeschool because the opportunities to disciple our children are great. Perhaps they are exceptionally misbehaved, but I find myself giving instruction and administering correction dozens, if not hundreds, of times every day. God has given this responsibility to parents (Proverbs 22:6; Proverbs 29:15; Colossians 3:21; Ephesians 6:4; Deuteronomy 6: 6-9; Proverbs 1: 8-9; Proverbs 19: 18), and we simply cannot be the ones training them up in the way that they should go if we are not with them.

We want to be able to stop in the middle of studying the human eyeball and praise the Lord for His glorious Creation; memorize Proverbs with our children and reference them when we struggle with cheerfulness, obedience, and diligence; sing Psalters at meal times; lay aside our bookwork to visit grandparents; converse with them about anything that's heavy on their hearts; and work to resolve issues as they arise instead of saving them for later.

2. We want to homeschool because we like being around our kids. Most days end by crawling into bed exhausted and emotionally spent, but I am also fulfilled and confident that there is nothing I'd rather be doing then interacting with my own children. On very bad days, it usually just takes a trip to the grocery store by myself to remind me that I really do enjoy the warmth of their giggles, incessant chatter, and questions about everything from how babies are made and what flies eat, to why I put bananas in our smoothie, and why we need four wheels on our van instead of three, more than the uncomfortable silence of being alone.

3. We want to homeschool because we want to integrate life with education. In the middle of the day, I want to teach math at the grocery store, figuring out the price per unit and assessing which brand is a better value; how to round numbers up and down to make easier calculations; how to estimate a bill's total and how to give correct change to the cashier; we want to take them to retirement homes so they can learn history from elderly men and women who are eager to tell someone their stories, and to the Creation Museum in the middle of the year with the whole family.

We want our son to have the time and freedom to cultivate an entrepreneurial spirit, if the Lord blesses him with one, and learn how to run a business; for our daughters, we envision them being able to efficiently and comfortably manage a home with joy. This comes with practice, and practice takes time. Time that we would be hard-pressed to find if they were away from home 8 hours a day.

4. We want them to learn about God's beautiful gift of sex from us and not the crude version from their peers; we want them to understand what the role husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, church members, and citizens of our country are by being part of a family that does things together rather than having a textbook tell them where their place is in society. We want them to know that family is the basic building block of society, not an artificial, individualistic, age-based structure.

5. We want to homeschool because we want our son to be able release his energy constructively. Most boys don't need the Ritalin they're prescribed; they just need alternatives to sitting quietly at a desk. If he is capable of reading better by hanging upside down from a tree branch, or memorizing spelling words while running laps, or getting excited about mathematical concepts by building a CNC router, then we want him to have at 'er.

6. We want to homeschool because there are hundreds of resources available that cater to the individual learning habits of our children. Each of our children are uniquely created by God; they have different strengths and weaknesses and are an eclectic mix of different learning styles. There is no one-size-fits-all curriculum that is equally advantageous and homeschooling allows us forgo "labeling" by using multiple methods simultaneously.

7. We want to homeschool because it's a proven method of education. Statistically speaking, homeschoolers fare well above average in every area of life from grades and social interaction to political involvement and preparedness for real life. Though numbers are not a deciding factor in our decision, we are encouraged to know that our children don't have to be jeopardized academically by staying home.

8. We want to homeschool so we can be good stewards of the resources God has given us. Because of where we live,the best Christian school in our area would involve over two hours of unproductive bus time everyday (public schools are not an option for us) and statistically speaking, homeschoolers spend an average of $500 per child each year compared to $9,963 per student by the government, yet their education is much more satisfactory in every measurable level.

9. We want to homeschool because we want our children to have the time to involve themselves in ministry. "We can't come/participate because Johnny has school tomorrow and Susie has homework," seems like a sorry reason to excuse ourselves from mowing an elderly couple's lawn, inviting neighbors for an evening tea, singing to someone in a nursing home, baby-sitting for a mother in an emergency, or praying with a young woman at a pregnancy crisis center who needs to know there's hope.

10. We want to homeschool because He who has called us is faithful. We can't even comprehend the grandeur of this task and we'd be lying if we said it never overwhelms us. But we have reason to step forward in faith because it is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed. His compassions fail not. They are new every morning and His faithfulness is great (Lamentations 3: 22,23). We couldn't survive a day of homeschooling in our own strength; we trust the Lord who called us to the momentous task of training up our children in the way that they should go (Proverbs 22:6) to provide us and our children everything we need for both life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

Though there are 10,000 more reasons that make us passionate about our children's education and inspire us to keep writing and speaking about homeschooling, this is our own family's conviction, and not a method prescribed for everyone. The Lord convicts different people in different areas and no one but you is capable of answering "Why do you send your children to a Christian school, or public school, or homeschool?"

Do you have a vision for your children's education? How did you come to choose a particular method?

___________________________
Looking for more homeschool encouragement? Our brand new eBook, Homeschooling Day by Day is on sale this month for $2.00 (reg. $4.99)! It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from homeschooling Moms on every stage of the journey. You can read the Table of Contents here.

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I love homeschooling. I loved it as a student for 13 years, I love it as a second-generation homeschool mama at the beginning of her own journey, I love writing about it, creating tools for it, and more recently, co-authoring a book about it!

Homeschooling consummates the passion and zeal we have to instruct the little souls God has entrusted us with. Nevertheless, it would be naive of me to dismiss homeschooling's challenges or pretend that my propensity to particular idols doesn't exist. The devil does what he can to transfer our worship from the One who gives life and purpose to our homeschool to that which turns us in toward ourselves and leaves us feeling empty, dry, and deflated.

The idols of one mother's heart might look different than the idols of another, but here are two common ones and how we can fight against them. Note that there is nothing inherently wrong with desiring well-behaved, intelligent children; our desire only becomes destructive when we give it more attention than it deserves.
Idol #1: Well-behaved children .

Your child is shy? It must be because she's homeschooled.

Your child is hyper? It must be because he's homeschooled.

Your child has tempers, talks too much, dresses like a geek, and uses uber nerdy words? Obviously it's because he's homeschooled.

Truth is, I don't want my child labeled, or awkward, a misfit, or the odd one out and I certainly don't want to be the one to blame for their behavior. So sometimes I idolize what I want them to be and who I want them to become. Maybe if I can raise perfect, socially acceptable children (whatever that is), then I won't be "at fault" for keeping them home.

However, when I start believing that I am solely responsible for how my children behave, I forget that sin lives within each of their hearts and that only God's grace is powerful enough to overcome it. If I consider myself to be the solution, I have idolized both my children's behavior and my parenting abilities... and attempting to raise children outside of God's help is guaranteed failure.

Well-behaved children are solely the result of God's grace at work in their lives and His undeserved blessing on our weak and imperfect obedience to His promises and commands:

• "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
• "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
• "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." Proverbs 29:17
• "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 22:15

Similarly, we homeschool moms often fall into the trap of idolizing smart children - especially if we don't have a teaching degree.

Despite statistics that tell us a teaching degree makes no difference in the education of a homeschooled child, we still feel a need to "prove" ourselves to people who knock homeschooling without taking a look at its incomparable track record (see also here). If our kids are smart, then maybe people will believe we're intelligent enough to homeschool.

Ironically, we feel that the way to make others understand that we're not ripping our kids off on their education is to abide by the school's schedule, use the school's curriculum, adopt the school's teaching methodologies, and do everything opposed to the very reasons most folks homeschool in the first place!

If we are parenting according to God's promises, we ought to expect good behavior from our children; certainly teaching them to apply themselves to their studies so that they can use the gifts they've been given for God's glory is an eternally rewarding goal.

But the moment our desire becomes an idol, the moment the performance of our children and how it is viewed by the watching world holds more sway over our hearts than God's unique plan for their lives, the moment we make things about us, our pride, our reputation, our success - at that moment, we begin to erect a barrier between our homeschool and the God who demands the whole of our worship on one hand and offers everything we need for life and godliness (including the raising of our children) in the other (Exodus 20:3; 2 Peter 1:3).

If we make God play second fiddle in our homeschool, the music will cease. The noise of and stress of finding the perfect parenting methodology and curriculum, satisfying the standard of a culture whose worldview yours shouldn't resemble, and pressuring your children to meet the expectations of people who really don't care about them will drown out your vision and sap your joy.

How do we get rid of these idols?

Crowd out any room for them with God.

If we saturate ourselves in God's Word and clothe ourselves in prayer, not only is the foothold for idols removed, but we will be immersed in precious promises that give clarity, purpose, and vision to our homeschool. The desire for socially acceptable, smart kids will fade into the background when we understand that nothing is more important than their salvation and a humble and joyful obedience to the law of God, socially accepted or not.

What's drowning your vision and sapping your joy? Give it over to the Lord and let Him receive the worship your soul craves to give.

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints. Ephesians 6:10-18 ___________________________
Looking for more homeschool encouragement? Check out our brand new book, Homeschooling Day by Day which I was honored to co-author. It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from Moms on every stage of the journey. You can purchase your copy for $4.99 or read the Table of Contents here.

If you enjoyed this post, you may wish to follow Growing Home for updates via Google Friend Connect, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google +, or have them emailed directly to your inbox.This post contains affiliate links. Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman., Hip Homeschool Moms, Living and Learning at Home, Walking Redeemed, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom,

Carrying Anna outside to pick some beans from our garden for supper, I sighed.

The patio was more green than grey with all the weeds coming up through the cracks. The hose lay in a tangled mess off to the side and toys from the sandbox littered the yard. The flower beds looked like they were in need of a good drink and weeds had begun to crowd out the herbs I had planted in the vegetable garden.

The kiddie pool in serious need of a good cleaning, and our weedy patio. The lawn showed serious signs of neglect too. Not having been cut in two weeks, the grass had reached that unpleasant length where your ankles get tickled by the blades and bit by mosquitoes that had found a home near the roots.

I picked a bowl full of beans and returned to the house. Weeds were poking through the pavement in the driveway too. I opened the door and felt a hot tear trickle down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away. The kids were laughing hysterically together and I didn't want to rain on their parade.

Charity's dolls from Aunt Connie, all swaddled up and sleeping on the couch. Notice the pillows so they don't roll off? Toys strewn all over the living room showed signs of active imaginations and serious creativity. I like to have things neat and tidy for my dear husband when he gets home from work, but that clearly wasn't going to happen this day..not if I was going to have a nice dinner ready and Anna fed by the time he walked in the door too.

I felt deflated, hypocritical, and way behind on everything. I write about the joys of motherhood and being a homemaker, but today I just wasn't feeling it as I stared a sink full of unwashed dishes, enough food underneath the table to add an egg and make a casserole, and a long to-do list of things that still needed to be done: laundry, bath the kids, make supper, clean out the van, etc., etc.

It's not that my husband doesn't pitch in. He does, more than any other husband I know. He works hard all day and then comes home is a SuperDad to our kids and a loving husband to me. He washes, dries, and puts away the dishes after dinner, gives the kids piggy-back rides around the house while they shriek with delight, brushes their teeth, reads them stories before bed, and tucks them in at night. Then he pays our bills, runs errands I didn't get to during the day, and often brings me back a little surprise like Reese's or ice cream. He's a champion in every way so this feeling of "way behindishness" I get doesn't come from him.

Our tiny kitchen, looking well-used. :-) The unreasonable standard I had set for myself was self-imposed and largely influenced by staged photos on Pinterest and the comparison game I played with other homemakers. No one was telling me I had to serve gourmet meals every night, keep a spotless, well-organized home, and dress my children in trendy clothes that matched. But somehow I had gotten the idea that doing all these things would mean I was being successful in my role as a wife, mother, and homemaker.

Brad walked in the door and I didn't greet him like I normally do. I knew I'd probably have a melt down so I kept washing dishes. Silly of me really, because he knows his wife well and immediately knew something was up. He kissed my on my cheek and asked, "Hi Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I lost it. His kind gesture was no match for the frustrations I had pent up inside and the tears started flowing while I rattled off my list of failures. "I didn't get anything done today. The grass still needs to be cut, supper's not ready and we've already had cereal or take-out twice this week, Anna needs to be fed again, Charity's out of clean underwear, and I can't remember the last time I gave the kids a proper bath!" For emphasis, I added, "I just can't do it any more. Sometimes I think I'd just be better off at work."

Brad knew I didn't mean that. He put his hands on my waist and looked me in the eye. "The reason you feel like you didn't get anything done today, is because you were busy doing more important things." He glanced over at our three busy kids and continued. "I don't care if we have to eat take-out every night, or use paper plates for a while, or if the wash doesn't get folded. If you get nothing done all day but the kids are happy, then I'm happy too!"

I thought back on our day. It started with me crawling into Charity's bed for our morning snuggle. She told me all about how her stuffed animals had behaved at night. Judah had peed through his diaper, so I washed him up before breakfast and started a load of laundry. We had our usual smoothies, read the story of Jonah for devotions, and prayed that God would keep Daddy safe at Opa's shop and give us clean hearts that love Him above all and our neighbors as ourselves.

Judah's raspberries. Then I read Charity a chapter from Little House in the Big Woods while I nursed Anna. Judah can't sit that long, so he played "excavators" on the coffee table. After making sure everyone had gone to the bathroom, and the diaper bag was packed, we went to my aunt's farm to pick raspberries.

"See Mom? If you just squish them like this, then we don't have to make jam when we get home!"

"I'm picking all the tiny little hard ones 'cause they're SOOOO cute!"

"Look, Mom! I picked all the white ones! We can just pick off the green prickles after."

Anna had decided she was finished before we started, so I discovered how fast I can pick with one hand while rocking a screaming baby: 2 quarts in half an hour.

We made it home in time for lunch. I had some leftover chocolate drizzle from a cheesecake so I made happy faces on their peanut-butter sandwiches. They were over the moon with delight.

After nap-time, we took a walk across the road to the park and cooled off for a few minutes at the splash pad. Back home, Charity wanted to do "school," so she found her books and pencils and I showed her how to make the number three. "Around a tree and around a tree. This is how to make a three!" we sang together.

Throughout the day there were squabbles to break up, attitudes to adjust, meltdowns to clean up, time-outs for tempers, kisses for boo-boos, apologies given and accepted, and hugs for the emotionally distraught.

Brad was right. I may not have gotten much done by way of housework, but alongside me had been three little sidekicks whose minds and hearts, for better or for worse, were being shaped, molded, and influenced by their Mom.

The weight of my responsibility struck me. I wasn't raising children here, I was raising adults. I was forming the next generation of fathers and mothers. I was shaping the characters of those who would raise our grandchildren. There was so much I needed to teach them, so much discipling that needed to happen in their tender hearts as well as mine.

The laundry, dirty house, and weeds in the patio will still be there one day when I have time to play catch up. But I'll never be able to play catch up with my kids. My time with them is slipping away like hourglass sand and I can't stop it.

So, while I'd like to maintain an immaculate house, keep our patio weed-free, and cut out the take-out, I've only got one chance at this Mom thing. Charity is three years old - almost four. If she marries at the same age I did, I have just 14 short years left before she leaves the nest. The first three have come and gone in a blink of an eye. Five more blinks and it's over.
"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 6:7 Truth is, if you're way behind on everything except time spent with your kids, you're way ahead.

Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, We Are That Family, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman., Walking Redeemed, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story

As a second-generation homeschooler at the beginning of our own journey and participants in coordinating our provincial homeschool convention, I sometimes get asked what it was like to be homeschooled and what things those new to the circuit can expect. Condensed, here are five expectations I have as we jump into the journey with both feet this Fall.

#1. Expect to make sacrifices. Money, time, your own interests - homeschooling requires a lifestyle of servitude in order to work.

Those extra dollars your husband has worked hard for may go towards curriculum before new outfit or a kitchen remodel.

The house you took so much pride in keeping clean and organized as a new wife may harbor cobwebs in corners and dust on the shelves because you're busy with read-alouds during the day and marking assignments at night.

When your girl friends want to snag you away for a morning coffee, you may have to decline because there are swimming lessons to attend and frogs to dissect.

The diploma you invested thousands of dollars in and worked 4 long years for may not bring an income while you voluntarily assume the role of wife, mother, teacher, guidance counselor, cafeteria lady, and on-site nurse at home instead.

When you spread yourself too thin, burn the candle from both ends, and collapse into your husband's arms one day crying, "I just can't do this anymore!", may you "come boldly unto the throne of grace, that you may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrew 4 :16)"

#2. Expect to be sanctified. If the saying "familiarity breeds contempt" is true, homeschooling will provide you with countless opportunities to be sanctified and conformed to God's image.

You will be exposed to a disgusting amount of sin in your children and yourself. Tempers will flare, bad attitudes will develop, and misunderstandings will take place.

There will be no third party available to disciple your child in the heat of the moment. When a crisis happens (milk spilled on the carpet for the second time in an hour, or highschooler who believes you're the meanest mom in the world for making her stay home and finish her algebra before she's allowed to play volleyball with her friends), it'll be your responsibility to "train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)"

You can't escape the sin in your family when you live with each other all day, every day. This is a blessing as much as it is a curse. You can deal with it immediately and offer your child the glorious redemption and forgiveness to be found in Jesus Christ, or you can let it fester and reap the consequences.

#3. Expect to be challenged. If you're looking for a challenge greater than one you will ever find in university or a prestigious career, try homeschooling on for a size.

If impressing upon your children the necessity of their salvation, choosing curriculum that caters to the individual needs of each of your children, teaching multiple grade levels simultaneously, fitting in trips to the museum, soccer field, factories, music practice, the dentist and library, managing your home, and romancing your husband isn't difficult, nothing is.

Homeschooling is no easy task. In fact, it's probably the most difficult, yet most rewarding thing you will ever do.

#4. Expect to be misunderstood. If someone has never "caught the vision," sends their child to school, or homeschools for a different reason than you, you may have your motives judged, your children introspected, and your feelings hurt.

It's unfortunate, but even Christians can dislike the use of Scripture to explain your decision to homeschool. They may deem homeschooling as "just" another educational option and feel convicted or take offense when you homeschool because of principles you believe to be biblical.

However well-meaning you may be in your attempt to encourage fellow homeschooling parents, referring to homeschooling as your "God-given task," may not bode well with those using the school method. They may feel like they're being judged even though your comments aren't directed to them.

The sad reality is that the hardest part of homeschooling is not the teaching as much as it is defending the cause to those who want your ship to crash and burn simply because it is different.

#5. Expect it to be worth it.

How much would you give...

... to be there when your child stammers her way through her very first sentence?

... to witness the light go on when your son "gets" a concept you've been struggling to teach for weeks?

... to take a day off in the middle of the week and go tobogganing with friends?

... to make birthdays holidays?

... to watch your 13-year-old son tie his 6-year-old sister's shoe laces because he doesn't know that it's not "cool"?

... to count watching Grandpa's pigs be born as Science and hearing stories from World War II veterans in the nursing home as History?

... to stay up late, finding constellations in a starry sky, not worrying about what time they go to bed because they can sleep in the next morning?

... to let the kids run around the house 20 times to get their wiggles out before sitting down and trying again?

... to let your son stand up to do his math because he can think better when he's beside is chair instead of on it?

... to hear, "Just one more chapter! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Mom?"

... to find a hand-written note under your pillow that reads, "I'm sorry for disobeying you today and not doing my Spelling. I'll try to be super good tomorrow and get all my questions right. Then are we allowed to go to the park? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo"?

... to be taught something new again by a child who would have been labeled anywhere else?

... to be able to cry with a fellow homeschooler because she's going through it too?

... to be embraced by your husband and hear him whisper in your ear, "I'm taking you away for the weekend! Your Mom is coming to stay with the kids."?

... to know Who gave you that extra measure of grace when you couldn't take one more day?

Homeschooling is a heroic endeavor, full of ups and downs, challenges and opportunities, joys and sorrows that will push you beyond your limits to Someone greater than yourself with a storehouse of grace much larger than you can imagine.

It'll humble, stretch, and strengthen you. It'll keep you on your toes when you're not on your knees.

It's not for the faint of heart. It's not for quitters. It's not for anyone who thinks they can do it on their own.

Homeschooling is for fathers and mothers who want to be there to disciple their children as they walk by the way, as the lay down, and as they rise up (Deut. 6:7).

Homeschooling is for fathers and mothers who believe that no one else in the world understands, loves, and recognizes the strengths and weaknesses in their children as much as they do.

Homeschooling is for parents who want to provide their child with a living education that reaches far beyond the confines of four walls and a desk.

Homeschooling is for Moms and Dads who need Jesus, because it won't work without Him.
Looking for more practical homeschool encouragement? Our new eBook, Homeschooling Day by Day is available for $2.00 until January 17! It's 40 chapters of realism, practical advice, and plenty of grace from homeschooling Moms on every stage of the journey. You can read the Table of Contents here.

Homeschooling Day By Day: $2.00 40 Chapters (with Discussion Questions)
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Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, Time Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies, A Wise Woman., Hip Homeschool Moms, Living and Learning at Home, Walking Redeemed, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom