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An Open Letter To My Non-Homeschooling Friends

Dear Friend Who Doesn't Homeschool,

We've been friends a long time, you and I. You might be a relative, a friend from Church, or my childhood Bestie. Either way, we've shared some great times together and it's an honor to call you my friend.

We're both married and have been blessed with children to raise. We bring each other meals when one of us is sick, share coffee now and then, and hope our kids will grow up being good friends too.

Each of us has had to make an important decision about our children's education. Will they go to public school? Private school? Or will we homeschool them?

We've made different choices. You've chosen to send your children to school and we've chosen to keep them home. Different factors have prompted us to choose different methods of education, but one thing guides us both: we want what's best for our children.

You don't have to explain your reasons to me, but if you want to talk about it, you know I'll gladly listen. I know you made your decision with conviction and out of a sincere desire to do what you believe is best for your child. I don't judge you for not homeschooling. That's not my call.

I just want you to know if you overhear me talking about homeschooling, see me share links on Facebook about homeschooling, or writing on my blog about homeschooling, it's not directed at you or about you.

Homeschooling is a part our life. A huge part. It consumes almost all of my waking hours. It's a lifestyle. Our hours are unreliable; sometimes we're done with the textbooks by 10:00am, sometimes we're still eating breakfast, but we're always learning. I talk about it a lot because it's as normal for us as breathing. Maybe not as natural (I often think I'm not cut out for it), but just as frequent.

So if you're trying to call and I don't pick up, it's not because I don't like you. We're probably in the middle of a Read-aloud, or I've got my hands covered in glue, or I'm trying to explain for the umpteenth time that if Old MacDonald has 1 rooster and 2 pigs, he has 3 animals altogether.

If I can't make it to our Girlfriends Luncheon, it's not because I don't want to be there. I guarantee I want to be munching on egg salad croissants and catching up with the ladies more than teaching math but we might have had a rough couple of days and need to get back on track. Or one of the kids might have swimming lessons. Or I'm having trouble finding a baby-sitter who's willing to watch them all.

I don't write about homeschooling on my blog because I don't want to talk to you about it face-to-face. I figure you'll probably ask me if you're interested and I don't want to annoy you if you're not.

I write about homeschooling to encourage other homeschooling moms and remind us of our vision, because boy, do we need it! We get spiteful comments thrown at us, hurtful letters written to us, and laws passed to restrict us. If our child can't read by the time he's eight and our house looks like a disaster, we begin to question our abilities forget the reasons we started down this journey.

When I say we homeschool because that's what we believe what God is calling our family to do, I'm not suggesting that non-homeschoolers are living in sin or that we're more spiritual than others because we've received a "special" calling. I say it to other homeschool moms because whether or not we feel like homeschooling, if we believe it's a scriptural principle, then not only is it worth doing, but God will also give us the grace to do it.

I also write to those who want to take away the one thing that guides both of our educational decisions: the freedom to choose what we believe is best for our children.

We're a minority group, albeit a growing one. People don't ask other people why they send their children to school; it's the normal thing to do. People ask people who homeschool why they homeschool because it's not the normal thing to do.

Things that aren't normal make people afraid and uncomfortable. No one likes to be uncomfortable or wrestle with things they'd rather ignore, so haters of homeschooling use unfounded accusations they hope will either silence those who promote it or affirm their own ideas about education.

From "real world" arguments, to academic achievement, to socialization and everything else in between, homeschooling holds its own when compared to other educational methods, yet we're getting attacked for doing simply doing what we believe is best for our children - just like everyone else.

I don't expect you to read my posts on homeschooling or "like" the links I share on Facebook. I'm not addressing them to you and tension is not my intention. I write about homeschooling because it's our passion; a home-based, parent-led, method of family discipleship that's worthy of defense and consideration; a freedom to be protected so we, like you, can do what we believe God is calling us to do.

With love,

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