My Blog = My Life: holy living

Home school conventions and curriculum fairs are full of them: stressed-out homeschooling moms in search of the "perfect" curriculum. Anxious faces suggest meandering through the crowded hallways and sifting through myriads of material is no easy task. Moms stop other moms to ask, "What curriculum do you use?", hoping to discover the link to a successful school year.

What am I really asking when I implore another homeschooling mother about her curriculum choice? Because in all honesty, the curriculum she uses with her children probably won't help me with mine.

Giving myself the benefit of the doubt, perhaps her child does learn the same way as my child. Maybe that's why I'm curious. Maybe I really am looking for the most effective way to teach my child their ABC's and 123's.

Or maybe, I'm liking the way her kids are turning out and want my kids to turn out like that too.

It's silly isn't it? That I can think the key to a successful home school lies in a brand of textbooks. It's silly that I can stress over curriculum as if my choice will make my child turn out okay. I can put more thought into how they're going to learn the comparably insignificant three R's when my focus ought to be teaching them about our ruin in Adam, redemption in Jesus, and the renewing of our hearts and lives by the Holy Spirit.

What an awful lot of unnecessary pressure we put ourselves under, when ultimately, it's the grace and power of a super-natural God that is absolutely necessary to make any home school successful!

In the end, it matters not whether Johnny learns to read. Reading won't get him into Heaven. Neither will his ability to write, compute numbers, or dissect a frog.

"If you try to give people knowledge, and you haven't trained them in character, based on faith, they will become intellectual reprobates." - Doug Phillips
In the end, what matters is my child's salvation. This is not something that can be found in a curriculum, worksheet, or activity binder. I can't give them a page of multiple choice questions and give them a passing grade. I can't do anything to make their salvation happen.

Hallelujah!

From beginning to end, salvation is the work of the Holy Spirit, applying the atonement Jesus paid for with His blood to sinners who God loved for no reason in ourselves (Hebrews 7:25).

This is what gives me hope as a home school mom. The God who can save my child is the same God who takes no delight in the death of the wicked, but desires everyone to come to repentance (Ezekiel 33:11). He is the same God who promised that those who seek Him shall find Him (Proverbs 8: 17). And these promises are certain because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrew 13:8).

Therefore, as a homeschooling mom, I ought to be pouring my energies, sweat, and tears not into curriculum, but into familiarizing my children with the Bible because faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God (Romans 10:17).

Don't get me wrong. We ought to do due diligence in choosing curriculum that corresponds to the individual needs of our children. But if it's not working, don't sweat it. There is one thing needful in a child's education, and that is to sit at Jesus' feet (Luke 10:42).

Start your day in God's Word. Choose curriculum that is Word-centered. Pray for the salvation of your children. Present them with the Gospel as you sit in your house, walk along the road, when you tuck them in bed at night, and when you get up (Deuteronomy 5: 6,7).

Go forward and home school in hope. The salvation of your child does not hinge on your curriculum choice; it rests on the finished work of Jesus Christ who has freely offered Himself in the Gospel.

Linking to: Raising Homemakers,, Deep Roots At Home, Wise Woman, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, Walking Redeemed, A Mama's Stoary

Like it or not, there will be times in our lives when apologies are necessary to bring restoration to a relationship we have strained. The key to a clean slate goes far beyond a simple "I'm sorry." Even a child understands that a quick muttering of the phrase can spare the consequent discipline.

Which of us hasn't received (or worse, given) an apology that was less than heartfelt? How often don't we try to retain our "honor" by minimizing the degree to which we hurt a person? Have you ever gotten the feeling that the offender isn't really sorry for what they did? That they're just using the word "sorry" in a sentence to get rid of their guilt? Can you catch it in each of these common apologies?

• I'm sorry if I was wrong.
• I'm sorry. I really wasn't trying to hurt you.
• I'm sorry, but you were wrong too.
• I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so sensitive about that.

... continued from yesterday. Read Part 1 here.
Currently, we're teaching our 2-year-old to memorize the Proverbs. Proverbs for Parenting | A Topical Guide for Child Raising From The Book of Proverbs compiled by Barbara Decker has proved to be a handy tool as each of the proverbs are organized into their respective categories.

If Charity is having a particularly difficult week with anger and temper-tantrums, we can flip to the anger section and choose a few verses from there to work on. If she's habitually stalling when we ask her to do something, we'll turn to the chapter on obedience. If she's having a hard time finding something nice to say to her brother, we'll memorize a verse on kindness.

There's nothing difficult or scientific about our method for memorization. For the most part, it's a simple process of "repeat after me." This past week, we memorized Proverbs 16:6: "By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil."
1. First, I'll read the verse through and explain any words she might not understand: iniquity, purged, depart.
2. Then I'll say the first phrase and ask her to repeat it back to me. I do this several times over with each section of the verse. That way, it gets ingrained in my memory as well as hers!
Mommy: "By mercy and truth... "
Charity: "By mercy and truth... "
Mommy: "Iniquity is purged... "
Charity: "Iniquity is purged... "
3. Once I think she's familiar with the phrases, we start combining them, two at a time:
Mommy: "By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged... "
Charity: "By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged... "
Mommy: "..and by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil."
Charity: "... and by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil."
4. Next, I leave out key words, and give her the opportunity to fill them in:
"By ________ and _______, _________ is ________: and _____ the _________ of the _______, men __________ from ______. Proverbs ____ : ____."
5. Once she's done the above a few time, we're down to just a few prompts until she can say it on her own:
"By _____________, iniqu... _______________; and ________________, men ____________________. _________ ___ : ___."
The whole process takes less than 15 minutes. I'll randomly review the verse with her several times throughout each day of the week until she can rattle it off and we move onto the next one. A few other things we've found helpful to aid in Scripture memorization are:

• Music. We sing a Psalm from our Church's Psalter with her before bed time. It's so fun when she picks it up and is able to sing along with us or recognizes it in a Church service!
• Regular Review. We try not to forget about a verse once we've moved on to a new one. To keep it fresh in her memory, we'll say the first word of a verse she knows when we're in the car or at dinner, and she'll finish the rest.
• Consistency. I find this to be the hardest part of all, especially if my morning is rushed by a tight schedule. However, if Charity's kept in the memorizing mode, it becomes easier for her to catch on. Once she recognizes it as part of our daily routine, she becomes the one who reminds me: "Mommy? Can we do the 'merry heart is good like medicine' one?"

It's a well known fact that a child's ability to remember things is second to none. The capacity to soak up their influences is the motivating factor behind our government's resolve to get them into the classroom at an increasingly young age. Once they're out from underneath their parent's control, the state has a no-holds-barred approach to indoctrinating our children with immorality and socialistic propaganda. This explains why the 4-year-olds in our province are going to school and being taught to question their gender, and why books like Heather has Two Mommies is perfectly acceptable story-time material.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was truth and righteousness our government was so concerned about instilling into our children. But then, if it was really God's Word the government looked to as their moral compass, they probably wouldn't be so quick to snatch the future of the nation away from their parents as soon as possible. Proverbs 22:6 was written to Dads and Moms; it is our duty to train up our children in the way that they should go, not the state's.

This reason, coupled with the desire to see our children's salvation and a life-time of blessing from the Lord, ought to make Scripture memorization and biblical instruction fundamental to the everyday life of a Christian family (Psalm 119: 9-11; Deuteronomy 6: 6,7; 1 Peter 3:15). If our children learn to abide by God's principles and commandments concerning marriage, economics, and life in general, they will become the leaders in a society that is craving for morality, prosperity, and stability.

What we think are the basics of life (i.e. arriving to a job on time and sober) are becoming extinct in a culture that's lost its way. This give a distinct advantage to the child who has learned to abide by God's formula for a happy and peaceful life:

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates, day and night." Psalm 1:1,2"He who heeds the Word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he." Proverbs 16:20"... His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who has called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." 2 Peter 1: 3,4If we want to give our children a good life, we must give them God's Word. It is the key to salvation and the pattern for success. No amount of toys, allowance money, clothes, or candy can produce righteousness or an outstanding member of society. We cannot save our children; that is an act of God's grace alone. But we can hide God's Word in their hearts and take comfort in knowing that it will never return to Him void (Isaiah 55:11).

Our 4-year-old daughter has no qualms about being feminine. She does her school in her princess dress, loves stories about princesses, hates wearing pants, wants to get married (to Daddy), diapers and clothes her stuffed dog multiple times a day, and believes green and blue are colors that should be reserved for boys.

Being girly is just so... so natural to girls (most of 'em)! Little girl, who aren't old enough to understand or conform to the most degrading and dehumanizing aspect of our culture: feminism.
I wish there was a way I could preserve my daughter's natural inclination to girly things. How can I raise her to be feminine in a feminist culture? A times, the challenge overwhelms me.
Society, at large, stifles biblical womanhood.. Girls get told it's a "waste of intelligence" to stay at home and raise children. Motherhood is a "mindless" routine that consists of changing diapers and being shackled to the stove. We know it's not a waste of time, but defending our decision seems like a losing battle. After all, there are a lot more of "them" than there are of "us."
In the end, it comes down to who gets to define the terms: neither you nor I. God alone, the Creator of women, wields that kind of authority, and He hasn't left it up to us to play the guessing game with our role or how we should act.

His Word is filled with meaning, instruction, and examples of mothers, wives, daughters, grandmothers, saints, sinners, lovers, nurturers, teachers, peacemakers, artists, and so much more. All we need to know about what makes for blessed society is right at our finger tips.

Still, we somehow believe our culture's vision for "liberating women" is better than the One who created women and came to set them free from their self-induced bondage.

Somehow we find ourselves in an identity crisis that our Bible-believing foremothers did not seem to have.

Somehow our "liberation" in the 21st century has bound us to a cubicle of tormenting doubts about what we are doing as women.
Somehow filing a stack of paperwork in an office is more important than sorting laundry.

Somehow drawing up a spreadsheet requires more creativity than artfully decorating your home.

Somehow teaching 30 kids to read takes more preparation than instructing three children how to live.

Somehow it requires sheer brilliance to manage employees in the corporate office while raising our children to be intelligent, honorable citizens is a demoted to a brainless job.

Somehow, if you get paid for doing one of the thousand jobs a mother does in a day, you can call yourself an expert.
We buckle under the pressure and bashfully admit, "Oh, I'm just a stay-at-home Mom."

We attempt to justify our choice by rambling on about all the other things we do with our "spare time" as though being a mother isn't a real job. "Well, I'm a chef, baker, time management expert, teacher, personal shopper, repairman, financial adviser, writer, etc."

It's time to stop apologizing.
Whether we find life as a woman to be stifling or liberating is ultimately our choice. The paradox of Scripture is that submission brings the greatest freedom and that death brings life. Only when we die to ourselves, our dreams, and our desires, will we find vitality and freedom in pursuing the high calling of biblical womanhood with joy, intelligence, and purpose.

If we get this, if our daughters get this, we can begin fostering femininity back into our feminist world.

The idea that a mother's place is in the home is no longer a popular one - not even within the Church. That said, most God-fearing mothers who choose a career over staying at home are not necessarily motivated by selfish desires, but by a culture which seems to leave them with no choice. It just doesn't make sense when an extra income would surely be more beneficial for their children in the long run... wouldn't it?

Scene #1: Perhaps a couple recognizes their young children are extraordinarily gifted and bright. University is certainly within their future. The parents want to give each of them the gift of a good, post-secondary education but know that's not possible on the husband's income alone. So Mom searches through the Yellow Pages and begins working from 8am-4pm - for the good of her children.Scene #2: Or maybe, as was the case with one of my grandmothers, a mother grew up in a very poor family and was never able to enjoy the kind of material wealth that seemed common place for everyone else. She doesn't want her children to know the pain of doing without and so works hard to bring in a paycheck that will cover trendy clothes, restaurant meals, and the latest technological gadgets that all the other kids on the block seem to have.Scene #3: Perhaps it's the cost of Christian schooling that forces a mother to work outside the home. It breaks her heart to drop her 10-month-old off at her sister-in-law's each morning, but she quickly reminds herself that the value of a Christian education is worth the temporary sacrifice.
The mother in each one of these examples has made her decision, perhaps with the support of her husband, based on "common sense." To the human mind, (especially the one that has been affected by years of feminism, liberal rhetoric, and publicly funded Marxism) it's perfectly logical to submit ourselves to "expert" opinion and abandon our kids while they're young in order to give them what they really need when they are older.

However, one very important detail is missing from each of these scenarios. Did you catch it?

A mother and father may arrive at the decision for her to work outside the home together after much consideration. Perhaps they even commit Mom's new job to the Lord in prayer. Maybe the children are made aware of the new changes and everyone agrees that this is what is best for their family. But through all the deliberations, the Bible remains on the shelf, and no one stops to ask, "What would God want Mom to do?"
"'The Lord told me,' is no substitute for 'the Bible says.'" - Voddie BauchamI am not suggesting that no woman can ever have a career, that parents shouldn't send their child to university or pay for their tuition (that's a topic for another day), give them good gifts, make every effort to provide them with a Christian education, or that a mother can't supplement the family income (if I believed that, I wouldn't have this blog or have written my two eBooks, How To Design Your Own Blog and How To Grow Your Blog And Manage Your Home).

I'm asking you, dear mother, to examine where God considers your presence most important. There are several parental responsibilities required of us that are difficult or impossible to perform if we are physically away from our children:

• Availability - morning, noon, and night (Deuteronomy 6:7)
• Training (Proverbs 22:6)
• Discipline (Proverbs 29:15-17)
• Teaching the Scriptures (Deuteronomy 4:10)
• Nurturing (Titus 2:4)

• Does my absence mean someone else will care for my children?

• How long will they be under another's care each day?

• Is this the person I want to raise and influence my child in my place?

• How many surrogate mothers will be involved over the years?

• What impact will that have?

• Does my job sap my energies so that I am tired and pressured and unable to give them quality time?

• Are my creativity, my wit, and my best efforts spent outside my family?

• Do they get only the leftovers?

The biblical solution involves a radical reform in our thinking. Christians must operate on the premise that pure and undefiled religion requires individual benevolence towards widows (James 1:27), families must take responsibility and look after their own (1 Timothy 5:8, 16), and the local church (whose diaconal ministry would be well funded if we tithed more than 2%) is called to care for those who are truly widows (1 Timothy 5: 3-16).

Mom, your job is so eternally important, that God ensured there would be a way for you to minister through full-time motherhood. The right thing to do is not often the easiest thing to do. Staying at home to raise your children will cost you. It may require painful sacrifices, tighter budgets, and perhaps even swallowing our pride enough to accept the aid available to us. But I believe it can be done and that the reward you receive will be eternally worth it.

If financial concerns are keeping you back from staying home with your children, here are some articles and books to help and encourage you.
Articles

• Saving Money In Your Baby's First Year
• Income-Earning Ideas
• We Couldn't Afford Children - Glad We Didn't Have To
• You CAN Stay Home - Earning Money From Home

• Money Saving Mom by Crystal Paine
• Family Feasts for $75 a Week by Mary Ostyn
• America's Cheapest Family by Annette Economides
• Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman

My Pinterest page has a board entitled "Feminine Flair." It's pictures are full of ruffles, lace, and lovely dresses - things that spell f-e-m-i-n-i-n-e to me. If I knew how to sew well and money was no object, I suppose I'd dress like this all the time.

The truth is, you'll often find me in a pair of blue jeans. I'm slowly building up the number of skirts in my wardrobe, but more often then not, the practicality of wearing a pair of pants with toddlers around the house and a sizable garden wins over a sweeping skirt. Some have asked why I believe it's permissible for a woman to wear pants, citing Deuteronomy 22:5 as a case for skirts only.

“A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God."
If the reason a woman must not wear pants is because they pertain to men, what do we do with Boaz, King Saul, and Aaron who were all cited as wearing skirts or cloaks as was the custom in Biblical times? Men of ancient Greece and Rome wore skirts, as did American Indian and Scottish males.

It makes me cringe when I hear people say, "That passage of Scripture doesn't apply to me because it's relating to a cultural issue of their day." The infamous cop-out may be over used, but there is still a danger of reading into a passage in order to make it suit our fancy. Deuteronomy 22:5 is not speaking about whether a woman should wear pants or skirts, but against transvestism - cross-dressing to appear as someone of the opposite sex.

The manner in how a culture dresses differs from one era and place to the next. What doesn't change is our responsibility to appear distinctly female. To pervert our designated sexuality (which God called very good) by blurring the gender lines in the way we dress is an abomination to the Lord.

In any case, modesty is the principal of female attire. There are women, even in the church, who wear skirts that are far less modest than any pair of blue jeans I have ever seen. That's not necessarily an argument for wearing pants to church, but a plea to switch from a hooker-style skirt where the outline of your thong is clearly visible, to something that speaks of gracefulness and humility within. (1 Peter 3:3-6)

Be it pants or a skirts, a woman's job is to dress like a female. There is room for creativity and a personal sense of style in God's design. Whatever you choose to throw on in the morning, may it be something that exudes those qualities of a woman which God calls very precious in His sight: gentleness, submissiveness, and a quiet spirit.

Many women reference Deborah, the Old Testament "prophetess," as our exemplary when it comes to women and leadership. There is no question the Deborah performed her job well, or that God used her to deliver Israel - that's exactly God's point. There was not a single man with courage enough to take the responsibility and lead. To Israel's great shame, God raised up a woman to support the men and warn them of their cowardice.

The Botkin sisters in their book So Much More say, "The role of a Deborah is not one we should be hoping for, but one we should be trying at all costs to prevent. If our society ever sinks to the level where one Deborah is necessary, it will be a sign that God is phenomenally displeased with our culture and is inflicting a colossal curse on it. Deborah was glorified and blessed by God as a deliverer of Israel, and, in essence, what she did was to bring men back into leadership." To build a doctrine around the exception God used is Israel's history because of their sin, and refuse to take the rest of the passages in the Bible about women and leadership (1 Timothy 11-14; 1 Corinthians 14: 34-35) at face value is, as Debi Pearl says, "just as foolish as Deborah leading the armies instead of a man." (Created to be His Help Meet, pg. 120).
It may be true that women can "do just as good of a job as men, or even better." She may be more "qualified" than any other male to serve in a position of authority over men. But simply being more capable of doing something doesn't make doing it right. I may be an exceptionally good marksman, but I would still be guilty of breaking the 6th commandment if I utilized my "gift" by going on a shooting rampage. However good a woman's intentions may be, the end never justifies the means.
The very best thing a woman can do for society it to purse God's perfect design for her and willingly submit herself to the God-ordained authority of man in church (1Timothy 2:11-14; 1 Corinthians 14:34-35), civil magistrate (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ex. 18:2, Deuteronomy 17:14-20) and home (Ephesians 5:22-24). In this way, perhaps her righteousness will entreat God to revoke His judgment and shower down blessings on a nation instead. photo via

It's easy to get discouraged when faced with the continual decline of our society. I'm particularly guilty of being a Debbi-Downer when it comes to current affairs, especially when we, of all people, have every reason to hope. Christians do not fight for victory, they fight in victory because Christ has already won the battle for us! (Revelations 1:18) Our victory is not only certain, but we've been provided with all the tools we need to wage battle against sin on this side of Heaven.

Some folks within the Christian community see no point in becoming politically involved. They reference God's sovereignty over cultural affairs as reason to accept whatever is dished out by the hands of diplomats. While we must submit to civil authorities (1 Peter 2: 13), we likewise must take seriously the command to "occupy" until Christ's return (Luke 19:13).

It's important for Christians to get involved in politics because, rather than "polishing brass on a sinking ship," our mission on earth is to be about the kingdom business of our Heavenly Father. Being a voice for truth and spiritual freedom in the public square is a particularly effective way for this to happen. Imagine what kind of change would occur in a society where judges made court rulings based upon God's law and politicians kept promises because they understood the seriousness of the ninth commandment!

It may feel like the worst of times, but in many ways it is also the best of times. The odds are in our favor - the rapid increase of homeschooling families - most of which are Bible-believing Christians - are not only having plenty of children, but according to Dr. Brian Ray of the National Home Education Research Institute, are fourteen times more likely to get involved in politics than the rest of society! You do the math.

Getting politically involved within your own community doesn't necessarily mean you have to run for mayor or city councilor. There are several things a family can do together to make a positive impact on their society. Here are a few things that don't require much time or effort when compared to the return on investment:

1. Vote! Voting is a Christian's opportunity to promote, protect, and preserve godly government, and the most basic responsibility we have as citizens of our country. Those we elect (or do nothing to remove), can choose can protect our freedom to spread the gospel or restrict it. Voting is one way to fulfill our civic duties (Matthew 22:21) and encourage righteousness within our nation.

2. Write letters to the editor. Generally speaking, the most interesting part of a newspaper is the Letters To The Editor section. Along with the funnies, it'll get read if nothing else. A simple letter to the editor regarding something that has gone on in your city is a free and efficient way of presenting a counter-cultural message to a large audience.

3. Write letters to your Member of Parliament or Congressman. ARPA takes away all the excuses with their EasyMail system. They connect you with the appropriate government officials in a matter of seconds and provide you with completely customizable letters addressing the current concerns in our country. It takes less than 5 minutes to let your MP know which way you'd like him to vote concerning proposed legislation.

4. Keep the phones ringing. Similar to writing a letter, calling your local politician on the phone is a personal and effective way of sharing your approval over a decision he's made or voicing your concern.

5. Attend town hall meetings. Another great way to have an impact in your community is to let your voice be heard at town hall meetings which are open to the public. Prepare questions or comments regarding the topic at hand ahead of time and keep a friendly, respectful tone when you're given the opportunity to share your opinion. Folks are more likely to ponder your point of view when they understand you're motivated by love for your fellow countrymen.

6. Volunteer during election campaigns. Volunteering - setting up signs, calling people on the phone, and printing ads on behalf of a godly candidate is at least as effective as a financial donation. See next point.

7. Donate. Kevin Swanson nailed it in this article when he said:
"A $100 donated to a Congressional campaign for a solid candidate is 100 times more effective than a vote for an unprincipled presidential candidate! If you are first assured that the candidate fulfills the Exodus 18 requirements, then why not get the most bang for your buck? Why not put your time and energy behind a candidate who give us life and sacred honor for the cause of principle? I organized a fundraiser in my basement and raised $14,000 for a godly congressional candidate in my state who has maintained a consistent record and rhetoric for 15 years of politics in this state. If he is elected, that’s about 2-5% of the monetary influence needed to put him in office. If I place a ballot for a socialist, pro-homosexual, pro-abortion Republican for president, I have 1/50,000,000 of an impact on that election (or.00002%). That’s almost zero influence for a candidate that will almost certainly lead the nation towards more socialism, more homosexuals in the Boy Scouts, and more tax-funded abortions. Don’t waste what few resources are left for the cause of righteousness! "
To further understand the importance of getting involved politically, we recommend the following reads: God and Government by Cornelius Van Dam and The Second Mayflower by Kevin Swanson.

Does your family get politically involved within your community? How have you done so?

Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home,,Modest Monday, A Mama's Story, Raising Arrows, Time Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies

If there's one thing I've observed in 13 years of being homeschooled and now as a second-generation homeschooling mom, it's that home educators seem particularly susceptible to turning their children into trophies of achievement. This is not an argument against homeschooling (I sing its praises all the time!), but rather, a reminder (mostly to myself) to guard against the temptation to show off our children in an attempt to prove our "greatness" as a teacher.

John S.C. Abbot in his excellent book, The Mother At Home, records the response of a preacher after being highly commended by one of his parishioners following a sermon:
"Be careful, my friend," said the clergyman, "I carry a tinder-box in my bosom."If a great man of God so easily admits his propensity to an inflamed ego, how much more dangerous do we make things for ourselves and our children when we place them in situations where they're sure to be flattered?

The reason I think homeschoolers are prone to this is because many times as both mothers and teachers, we feel as though we need to prove our worth. It's worse if you *gasp* don't happen to have a teaching degree. We want to prove to our parents that our children are indeed learning to read (and quite well by age 4), to the local school-board that their education is not sub-standard ("See? Our daughter's GPA is a 4.0. I've kept records!"), and to skeptical church members that they are well socialized ("Oh, you tried to call this week? Sorry I missed it! We had soccer on Monday, music lessons on Tuesday, volunteered in the soup kitchen on Wednesday, dinner guests on Thursday, etc., etc.")

Now, there's nothing wrong with Grandma delighting in her grandchild learning to read, but turning our children into exhibitions is unhealthy for everyone involved.

First, it hurts children - yours and others. Our efforts to raise our children with a spirit of humility quickly become undone when out of pride and insolence we thrust them forward onto the attention of others, show off their intellectual attainments, and relish the flattering words our families and friends feel compelled to dish out.

I've seen homeschooling moms, in front of their children, publicly praise one child for performing their studies two grade levels ahead of where they "should" be, while simultaneously pointing out that the other child is "not the academic type - but that's okay! We need all kinds!" The first child walks off with her head held high ("Mom thinks I'm the smart one!") while the other is left feeling inferior and worthless simply because her talents lie in different areas. It's devastating to exalt one child above another and defeats a key reason people homeschool in the first place!

Second, it hurts those considering homeschooling. A few years ago, we invited friends along to our provincial homeschooling conference. At the time, they were just considering the possibility and we were excited about them spending a whole weekend immersed in the subject. However, things back-fired a little when one of the very first moms to introduce herself after we arrived began a spiel about how young her children were when they began university and how they lead such godly lives, etc. She meant of course, to present homeschooling in a positive light, but to those still on the fence about the issue, it came across as prideful, arrogant, and extremely off-putting.

Thankfully, our friends stuck around and met many other homeschooling families over the course of the weekend and discovered that not everybody spouts off all their accomplishments and how wonderful it all is within minutes of meeting you.

If you happen to be one of those moms with 8 polite, finely-dressed, instrument-playing, intellectually astute children to whom homeschooling comes easily, I say: Well done! Be thankful for your gifts, hone your strengths, use them to serve others... and keep your successes to yourself unless asked. Remember:
"Your walk talks and your talk talks. But your walk talks more than your talk talks."Third, it hurts you. Our lives will greatly lack in joy unless we get over the need to prove ourselves. Continually trying to live up to the expectations of others, real or perceived, is exhausting and draining. You risk your children drifting away or buckling under fear of not measuring up. You yourself may be rendered useless as a homeschooling mom when you fail to meet your own impossible standard.

We will always be found wanting if we try to find our satisfaction, purpose, and sense of worth as a homeschooling mom in how well we teach our children or what they manage to learn. It's only the grace of God that makes any of us capable of accomplishing anything. A full and humble reliance on His redemptive work is the only way we can find true satisfaction in the job He has called us to do.

Let it not be our children or our teaching skills we hold out as trophies, but God's extraordinary grace which works despite our failures, shortcomings, insecurities, and sinful struggles. You, your children, and those looking on will be blessed and refreshed when they realize your strength does not come from within yourself but from the Lord who gives freely to all who ask (James 1:5).

Linking to: Holy-Spirit Led Homeschooling

I'd like to blame it on the winter weather, but I know better. A bad case of the Grouchies seems to be ruling our home lately. It has nothing to do with being snowed in, and everything to do with the sin that lives in the hearts of our children, just as it does in mine.

The last few weeks have been particularly trying. Boredom and sickness make a good breeding ground for poor manners, foolishness, and bad attitudes. It was time to recommit to some serious character building, beginning with myself.

My friend Caroline and her husband Sean created the Character Badges program around the same time as my resolve, and I was eager to give it a try.

Previously, I've shied away from using character building programs because we want to teach our children good character without making them believe that their "righteousness" can earn something. When they fail in their attempts to "be good" and cry, "But Mommy, I can't be good!", we need to point them to the Cross and say, "I know, honey. Mommy can't be good either and that's why we both need Jesus!"

Here's how the system works.

The Character Badges program comes with three charts (the Obedience Chart, Disobedience Chart, and Consequence Chart), flashcards that reinforce biblical characteristics with a Scripture verse and a simple illustration, and a series of badges to be rewarded for good behavior.

The Obedience Chart lists several good character qualities (and leaves a few blanks so you can fill in particular areas of concern), along with a row of check boxes to mark off when you notice your child exhibiting good behavior.

Throughout the month, you can reinforce positive behavior by allowing your child to mark off a check box when you notice they have done something kind, worked hard, told the truth, or were quick to obey. Our children are not allowed to fill in or ask to fill in their own check boxes and can only do so when we pick up on something and give them permission.

Once any one of their rows have been filled, they get rewarded with badge to wear for the day. The Character Badge creators suggest accompanying the badge with a special prize, outing, or gift to help keep your child motivated.

Also included are Disobedience and Consequence charts. They are similar to the Obedience Chart in that a check box is meant to be marked off when you pick up on poor behavior (i.e. lying, laziness, hurting others, etc.).

The first day we put the program to use was interesting. The badges were a great incentive to good behavior, and my favorite moment is when our daughter announced, "You know what? It's actually more fun when we're being nice to each other!" Imagine that.

Then the first infraction happened. Instead of disciplining like I normally do, I decided to utilize the Disobedience Chart. One offence led to another and the idea of having to mark down her sin completely stressed out our child-in-training.

I realized that she didn't need a long list of offences hanging over her head. She needed to know that when we confess our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive it, and purify us from all unrighteousness. He removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west, and we too should keep no record of wrongs. (1 John 1:9; Psalm 103:12; 1 Corinthians 13:5).

So, we decided to use the Character Badges program a little differently then recommended. The beauty of this program is its versatility. You can make it work according to your own convictions and family's needs.

We've chosen to do away with the Disobedience Chart and stick to our normal method of correction that includes an immediate discipline, repentance, forgiving and forgetting. This is a great time to use the flashcards to remind your child how they should have responded in the situation. Regularly referring to the short, simple, Biblical lessons appropriate to the offence will help them remember what godly behavior looks like.

The Consequence Chart is privately kept by me to keep my own anger in check. By writing down what kind of consequences are appropriate for particular infractions, I'm less likely to fly off the handle and assign a discipline too severe for the crime.

The kids love wearing the badges and I definitely notice an extra effort on their behalf to behave. We tell them that the Obedience Chart is merely a tool to help them get into the habit of doing what is right because it is right to do what is right, regardless of whether or not they get a reward. The eventual goal of the Character Badges is to have no use for them at all.

As with any method of character training, it can be easy to fall into the trap of Pharisaical legalism. But, with regular reminders that good character must be more than a public display for Mom and Dad, the Character Badges can be a great tool in cultivating godly habits that will hopefully become natural, even when no one is watching, because they are ultimately rooted in sincere love for the Lord and a desire to obey His commands (John 14:15).

I'm no prophet, but excepting Christ's return, our children have a very bleak future ahead of them.

They will grow up in the most godless state their country has ever been in; they will inherit a debt load that will enslave them to the government through astronomical taxes for their entire lives; there will be too few of them to adequately support the health-care of the dying Baby Boomer generation; they will live in a world where the murder of unborn babies and people who have "lost their dignity" is normal while the right to defend and protect their own families will be taken away; they will live in a country that somehow tolerates homosexuality and radical Islam while dismissing anything God's Word says as hate speech.

At first glance, it's easy to understand why one would take action to prevent any of their own children to be born into a society that's "going to hell in a hand-basket."

However, there have been many times in history where God's people had an equally good excuse not to procreate. The persecution of Christians under King Nero, The Protestant Church in France during the 17th and 18th centuries, World War I and II, The Great Depression - these are periods in history where it was much harder to be a Christian compared to the relative freedom we enjoy now.

Take the story of Moses for example. If ever there was a time in history where it could be considered completely irresponsible and irrational to have children, this was it. 400 years of slavery to the Egyptians under some of the cruelest conditions imaginable - who could blame the Israelites if they decided that surely God didn't mean for them to keep bringing children into such a terrible world! "Be fruitful and multiply" must have been meant for periods of peace and prosperity.

Not only did the Israelites obey during their frightful circumstances, but the more they were persecuted and afflicted, the more they multiplied! Pharaoh's attempt to rid himself of the Israelite nation by literally working them into the ground was met with supernatural fertility among the people of God (Exodus 1:12).

To combat the influx in birth rates, Pharaoh ordered the midwives tokill the male children as they were being born to mothers still on their birth stools (Does this ring a bell? Sound anything like the partial birth abortions Obama is in favor of?). Again, God gave His people exceptional labors and deliveries so that the midwives, when asked why they let the male children live, had to explain, "Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women; for they are lively and give birth before the midwives come to them (Exodus 1:19)."

We know how the rest of the story goes. Eventually Moses was born to lead God's people out of slavery to the Promised land, flowing with milk and honey. Through times of bondage and affliction, trials and persecution, God faithfully provided and the Israelites continued to multiply. Who are we to assign limits or terms to God's commands just because money is tight, impending judgment is on our country, or the survival of the nuclear family seems impossible?

No matter what circumstance we find ourselves in, we ought to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). The second we think, "You've got to use your head. God gave you a brain for a reason," and rely on our own understanding instead of acknowledging God to direct our paths, we dismiss God's unchanging faithfulness, compassionate mercy, and amazing grace for a humanistic, self-absorbed agenda that makes the devil dance.

Satan hates it when God's people multiply! What a sinking feeling it would be to witness the birth of a covenant child into a family who serves the Lord and relies on His saving grace when your mission is to rob God of His glory by destroying His people! Christians have every reason to "be fruitful and multiply" because it is the nature of our God to bless the future generations of righteous parents who diligently teach His ways to their children (Psalm 14:5; Proverbs 20:7; Isaiah 44:1-3).

Neither a balanced budget, nor a heterosexual nation will be able to save the souls of our children. I can't save them, homeschooling can't save them, church can't save them. I'm not worried about bringing babies into our world because the One who has the power to deliver them from eternal death, also has the power to raise up Moseses, Billy Grahams, preachers of righteousness, godly mothers, and Presidents who fear the Lord. I have no reason to doubt His timing, grace, mercy, or faithfulness. The children who are born to us, are born "for such a time as this (Esther 4:14)."

Don't you hate it when you go shopping for a skirt and every. single. one. on the rack is too short to be comfortably modest? All these adorable prints and styles, none of them long enough...

If a skirt is too long, you can shorten it easily. But when they start out too short, your options are either:

a). Buy it, and sit with your legs glued together so as not to display your unmentionables unnecessarily. Also, avoid bending over (particularly impossible is you have several small children)

OR

b). Don't buy it. Save up to purchase a longer skirt for twice the price, or hope that your mother-in-love has some spare time to sew you a custom design.

Until two weeks ago, I thought I only had two options, but now I've got three! I discovered the skirt extenders from Shell Sheli while searching online for modest camisoles (which they also sell), and now I have an easy solution to lengthening those cute skirts I would previously leave on the rack!

Much like you would layer a tank top or camisole underneath a short or low-cut shirt, the Shell Sheli skirt extenders provide you with extra coverage, warmth, and style.

Of the two brands of skirt extenders available from Shel Shelli, I have the SuperSlip in both the A-line and Pencil Skirt versions. The top half of the skirt extender is made from a silky polyester that functions like a regular slip and keeps your skirt from clinging of bunching up when you move. The bottom half is made from a thicker cotton material that provides comfortable coverage.

If you own a skirt you have to think twice about wearing, want an easy solution to extending the length of any skirt that catches your eye, wish you could stay as warm wearing skirts as you do wearing pants, or simply like the layered look, then the Shell Sheli skirt extender would make a great addition to your wardrobe. They come in sizes XS-XL, and are available in A-line and Pencil styles.

Just because, Shell Sheli is offering you 15% off any purchase from their store (which also includes short sleeve and long sleeve layering shells, layering dresses, and KikiRiki skirt extenders) with coupon code “justbc15.” Sale ends Tuesday at midnight.

In the interest of full disclosure, some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means that if you click on the link and purchase the item, I receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I use personally. Your purchases through these links help support Growing Home. Thank you for your support.
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Words have meaning. Sometimes those meanings change with a culture. For example, "gay" no longer means merry, cheerful, or happy; the term "liberal" hardly conjures up images of benevolence and generosity. Rather, we tend to think of greedy politicians with their hands in everyone's pockets.

Christians would do well to understand the importance of onomasiology - the study of choosing words to best express a concept. The impact of our outreach depends greatly on the words we use and how we use them - especially when it comes to current issues that are often painted in more palatable terms by the left.

If you home-school or send your children to a private, Christian school, you have the advantage of capitalizing on this opportunity as those who are sent through the public, secular system are taught to be well versed in leftist rhetoric with little room to think outside the box. One needs only to look at how passionate the average six-year-old is about saving the whales, being "green," and "celebrating diversity" with homework from books like Heather has two Mommies for verification.

Using words like "choice" to describe the murder of an unborn child, "tolerance," "diversity," and "anti-bullying" to promote homosexuality, and understanding "contraception" to be "a women's health issue," are clever ways to promote the devil's agenda under the guise of Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm all for choice, tolerance, diversity, and women's health. I differ from those who call themselves "pro-choice" because of what choice they are making. I believe tolerance or the ability to get along with those who differ from us is an admirable and biblical character quality to the extent that it does not make permissible that which God has clearly labeled as sinful. Women's health is an important issue, too important, in fact, for the government to be using the term to distribute publicly funded contraceptives in high-schools so students can "safely" engage in premarital sex.

The next time someone claims to be pro-choice or tolerant, ask them what choice they are in favor of. If they say, "A women's right to choose," ask, "To choose what?" If "Abortion." is their response, ask them what they are aborting - make them spell it out. One is forced to reconsider their position on the matter when faced with black and white terms like life and death. "Killing a child" is harder to defend then "choice."

Tommy De Seno in his article Stop Using The Words "Abortion" and "Choice" says it well, "This is the place in the conversation where you can take control of the description, because the proponents of child killing will never, ever describe it. They can't face what they favor... you will be accused of anything from being intentionally inflammatory to rude and inappropriate... This is what is most perplexing about the left: They can't bear to hear someone speak of stabbing a child to death but actually letting people do it doesn't bother then them."

At the very least, those who fund, promote, and encourage things like mass infanticide and homosexuality in our country ought to clarify their destructive agenda by sayin' it like it is. Let's take away the intentional distractions of clever guises like "choice," "tolerance," "women's health," "black markets," and shed some light on the situation by saying what we mean and meaning what we say.

Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Deep Roots At Home, Little Natural Cottage, Raising Arrows, Time-Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies

Today is the beginning of a new year which, for most people, also marks a fresh resolve to become happier, healthier, richer, or skinnier.

It's good to make goals. Proverbs says that where there is no vision, people perish (29:19), and that when our goals are in accord with His revealed will and purpose for our lives, we can expect His blessing (James 4:3).

My goal, by the grace of God, is to love.

I'm not just talking about loving people who are easy to love: my children, husband, parents, blogging pals, and others who are dear to my heart. It takes no effort to be patient, kind, and enduring to those who share my beliefs, convictions, and ideas and love me back.
"For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful." Luke 6:32-36Love is sacrifice. Love is love when it involves how I relate to the unlovable.

Love gives, expecting nothing in return (Luke 6:35). Love gives up sleep to nurse my babe in the middle of the night; baby-sits other children without believing their parents owe me one; stuffs envelopes for ministry organizations without expecting a paycheck or a pat on the back.

Love blesses those who curse me (Luke 6:28). Love responds with a soft answer to those who troll my Facebook page and blog, watching for opportunities to leave critical, harsh, or dissenting comments that prove how little I really know.

Love does not insist on having its own way (1 Corinthians 13:4). Love enables me to give up my clothing preferences and paint color choices for my husband's and fold his socks like his Mom folded them. Love makes submission a joyful service. Love cares for families who are contagious with the flu I haven't had yet. Love puts someone else ahead of myself.

Love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4). Love doesn't snap "Hurry up; we're going to be late!"; "Don't you get this? We've been through it a thousand times!"; or get aggravated by piles of clothes on the floor, a toothpaste cap gone missing, or toilet seat in the upward position.

Love does not envy (1 Corinthians 13:4). Love is content. Love does not wish for someone else's clothes, personality, beauty, vacations, husband, degree, position, environment, fame, or fortune (Exodus 20:17).

Love does not boast (1 Corinthians 13:4). Love will not boast in anything: no gifts, no power, no wisdom. Love can only boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection (How Deep The Father's Love For Us by Stuart Townend). Love remembers that Jesus came into this world to save sinners, of whom I am chief (1 Timothy 1:15).

Love is not arrogant or rude (1 Corinthians 13:4). Love does not engage in personal attacks, but informs and reasons in kindness and truth. Love presents opinions on educational methods, vaccines, diets, and birth control for the purpose of being helpful, not hurtful.

Love is not irritable or resentful (1 Corinthians 13:5). Love does not look for ways to be offended or take opportunities to hold a grudge. Love does not judge another's motives. Love assumes the very best of others in the same way I want them to assume the very best about me (Luke 6:31). Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love forgives seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22).

Love does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6). Love does not mean I will refuse to quote passages like 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 for fear of offending homosexuals. Love is intolerant of abortion, Islam, homosexuality, humanism, adultery, theft, gambling, and drunkenness because they are opposed to Truth. When we condone sin by our silence or our fear of man rather than God, we keep people from Truth instead of leading them to it. Love desires another's salvation over their damnation.

Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Love doesn't worry about what people think of me or if they gossip behind my back. Love does not fear rejection, criticism, false accusations, disapproval, or misunderstanding. Love is concerned with keeping God's commandments (John 14:15), the chief of which is to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself."(Luke 10:27)

If I do not have love, I have nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2), but I can love because He loved me first and His love never fails (1 John 4:19; 1 Corinthians 13:8). He offered His only Son as a ransom to prove His love and that kind of self-sacrifice is what I want to mark my relationships in 2014 and onward.

Have you resolved to do anything differently this year? Can you sum it up in a word? I'd love to hear the goal you're pursuing this year!

***
To help you start off the New Year with a new attitude, we've put our 153-page eBook, The Pursuit of Motherhood on sale for $3.99 (reg. $7.99)! You can read more about it and view the Table of Contents here.

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If you enjoyed this post, you may wish to follow Growing Home for updates via Google Friend Connect, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google +, or have them emailed directly to your inbox. Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman.,Walking Redeemed,, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Hearts For Home, Frugal Homeschool Family Time Warp Wife

Last week, I wrote something in a Facebook status that shouldn't have been written. It was an attempt at humor, but ended up being more off-color than funny. An older, wiser, godly friend wrote me about it.

Initially, I felt hurt and offended. "It's none of her business what I write," I thought. I didn't want to respond in a reactionary way (it's a sure way to make an even bigger fool of myself, I've discovered), so I mulled over her words for a while before re-reading them again after I had cooled down.

Everything she had written was done in a spirit of love and gentleness. She presented the truth and offered it up with plenty of grace and forgiveness. Like a good Titus 2 mentor, she took the opportunity to teach me "to be discreet, chaste, good... that the word of God be not blasphemed." (v.5) She wrote be because she was taking her responsibility to "be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, teachers of good things" seriously (v.5).

It wasn't about picking a bone with me. In all the years I've known her, she's never been one to offer cutting, critical, or dissenting opinions, or insist on having the last word. It's out of character for her to be disagreeable or write to prove how much she knows. She is sweet, gracious, kind, wise, godly, and clothed with humility.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how blessed I am to have someone in my life who, in an era where it's cool to scream "Intolerance!" to anyone who picks up on our sin, cares enough about my personal holiness and spiritual well-being to risk friendship, misunderstanding, criticism, gossip, and being falsely accused of judgementalism, legalism, and self-righteousness. I was floored when I realized what she put at stake out of genuine concern for my own reputation and well-being!

On the one hand we younger mothers often bemoan the lack of Titus 2 mentors; on the other, we get upset when they are courageous enough to do their job. Having a mentor isn't just about receiving practical help, advice, and words of encouragement; it's about desiring to live a holy life that's pleasing to God, which necessarily entails being confronted in our sin at some point or another.
"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." Hebrews 12:11"It's just a phase they all go through," we explain as we reprimand our toddler for snapping "NO!" at us again.

"Sarcasm is my spiritual gift," we laugh in an attempt to soften the edges of our cutting words.

"I'm just sayin' it like it it," we confirm of an honest statement, not spoken in kindness.

"I'm not arguing; I'm enjoying a healthy debate," we justify of our need to always have the last word.

"I'm just sharing my concerns so we can pray for her more specifically," we gossip about the details of another's life during prayer meeting.

We are adept at wrapping up sin with pretty bows. Who can argue against a "natural progression" in childhood development, a joke, honesty, a healthy debate, or prayer without appearing to judge another's motives or reeking or self-righteousness? We feel so insured and justified by our ability to reason sin away, and few things are more painful then someone tugging at the end of our ribbons to reveal what's inside and call it by name.

Suddenly the Bible, which seemed to have nothing to say about the sin we cleverly concealed, comes alive with rebuttals to put our accusers in their place.

"Judge not that you been not judged," we quote perfectly.

"How about you worry about the plank in your own eye before pointing out the speck in mine," we ask, referencing Matthew 7:3.

"The Lord knows my heart," we say, as if that's supposed to be comforting.

Excusing our sin and taking offense to biblical reproof doesn't just categorize us as fools (Proverbs 28:13; 1:5; 12:1; 9:8), it stunts our spiritual growth, and eliminates opportunities to live out the Gospel for our children and all those we meet.

It's not until we begin to grasp God's holiness, our grave depravity, and His extraordinary grace and forgiveness that we can understand and appreciate the biblical institution of mentorship, and seek out a godly role model who is willing to address our unhealthy habits with Scripture and in Christian love so we can become more and more like the God we claim to serve.

What if you could be mentored by 17 Moms? Well, you can through our brand-new, 153-page eBook, The Pursuit of Motherhood! It covers everything from homeschooling, adoption, and infertility, to breast-feeding, special needs children, and leaving a legacy... and it's on sale for $3.99 to help you ring in the New Year with a new attitude! You can read more about it and view the Table of Contents here.

The Pursuit of Motherhood
153 pages
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If you enjoyed this post, you may wish to follow Growing Home for updates via Google Friend Connect, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google +, or have them emailed directly to your inbox.
Linking to: Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Arrows, A Wise Woman.,Walking Redeemed,, The Modest Mom, A Mama's Story, We ARE That Family, Raising Mighty Arrows, Hearts For Home, Frugal Homeschool Family Time Warp Wife

I must begin with a confession: I'm a rather old school sort of girl who doesn't own a cell phone. It's not that I have anything against them; I've simply never had the need or desire to stay up to date with the latest technology. You might think that my relationships would be perfect then, since I don't have a little gadget constantly buzzing in my back pocket for attention.

However, I have a computer, and though it is an ancient beast that causes the middle of my desk to sag, it has the power to wield the same time-wasting, relationship-breaking temptation as latest iPhone model. As a mother to two young children and an avid blogger, I'm becoming increasingly aware of the need to turn off the power and focus on building relationships with these precious souls that have been entrusted into our care for such a short time.One day, I will say to Charity, "Please don't rub the diaper cream in your hair; it's not shampoo," and she won't. One day, after Judah spits up sour milk into the carpet and I hurry to clean it up before the bacteria can start to brew, I'll say, "Oh Judah! You're too big to be spitting up your milk!" and my floor will stay clean. One day, I will hesitantly step out of bed in the morning and be surprised to discover that there is no herd of stuffed animals waiting in the hall to sprain my ankle. One day, when I ask, "Can I just have two minutes of peace and quiet?" I will be answered with a deafening silence. One day, when I say, "Mommy just has to write a blog post for a minute. I'll be right back," as I walk down the stairs, I will return, and my children will be gone.Are we willing to turn off the technology so we can mother like Jochabed? Can you see her there, nursing Moses, praying for him, and teaching him the truth about the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? In the few short years between Moses' birth and the time he was weaned, his parent's influence was so great that we find Moses listed among the heroes of faith: "By faith, Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharoah's daughter." (Hebrews 11: 24)Time is short, and the precious few moments we're given with our children are fleeting. It can be a real challenge trying to keep up with emails that require a response, comments that need to be published, and a Facebook status that's waiting to be updated. As much as I hate to admit it, it really doesn't matter if any of these things get done today. There are other lovely blogs for people to read, and other pages to "like." But my children - I only have them on loan for a short while and the time in which they are most impressionable? Once it's gone, it's gone. Seize the day. Spend as much time as you can training them up in the way that they should go, so that, when they are old, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

Flipping through the Dictionary the other day, I discovered something about myself.

-ist a suffix of nouns, often corresponding to verbs ending in -ize or nouns ending in -ism, that denote a person who practices or is concerned with something, or holds certain principles, doctrines, etc. Origin: Middle English -iste < Latin -ista < Greek -istēs; in some words, representing French -iste, German -ist, Italian -ista, etc.,A lyricist is one who writes words to a song.

A perfectionist is one who wants things to be perfect.

A terrorist is one who causes terror.

An herbalist is one who specializes in herbs.

A feminist, in the truest sense of the word, is one who is concerned with femininity. And so it is that I am a feminist.

Logically, the only One authorized to define femininity is the Creator of females. That means God (not Marie Stopes, Coco Chanel, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, or culture), gets to describe - no, order -what a true feminist ought to look like. He does so in Proverbs 31:

• She is pure (v. 10).
• She is a trustworthy treasure to her husband (v. 10,11, 12, 23, 28b, 29).
• She is concerned for the well-being of her family (v. 13, 14, 15, 18b, 19, 22, 27).
• She is hard-working and industrious (v. 13-22, 24, 27, 31).
• She is clothed with strength and dignity (v. 17, 25).
• She is skilled in managing finances (v. 14, 16).
• She is courageous in character (v. 25, 29).
• She is kind and compassionate (v. 20, 26).
• She is wise (v. 26).
• She is praised by her children and husband (v. 28, 29).
• She is holy (v. 30).
• She is blessed (v. 31).

Biblical femininity says men and women are equal in importance, status, honor, and dignity (Genesis 3:18). Both men and women are equally fallen (Romans 2:23), and equally able to be rescued from their sin and condemnation through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ (John 3:16).

However equal, their roles are different. God’s purpose for humanity includes complementary relationships between men and women so that a lost and dying world can be confronted with the Gospel through living portraits of God's love for His Bride, the Church.

Husbands are to picture Christ by loving their wives (Ephesians 5: 25-33; 1 Peter 3:7), and wives are to be submissive to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Timothy 2:12). Men are responsible for leading their families spiritually and supporting them financially (1 Timothy 3:4; 5:8). Wives, in addition to the duties outlined in Proverbs 31, are exhorted to love their husbands, love their children (which assumes desiring them), keep a home, and live in obedience, meekness, and a quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of both God and her husband (Titus 2:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6).
"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16 (emphasis mine)Sin oppresses women. Sin from within ourselves, and sin that comes at us through other men and women. Sin makes us desire roles we were not created to fulfill. Sin makes us reject authority rather than be submissive to it. Sin glorifies climbing a corporate ladder over serving "the least of these" at home. Sin calls meekness "weakness," and favors boldness over quietness in a woman. Sin puts me first and my family last. Sin blurs scripturally distinctive gender roles and makes the opposite of God's design seem more attractive.

Jesus came to set us free from the sin that holds us in bondage. Freedom and liberation are not found in departing from God's design, but submitting to it out of obedience and love to the One who bought our salvation, purpose, status, dignity, and value with His blood (John 14:15; 1 Corinthians 7:23; Romans 6:22)."Feminism" doesn't liberate women; Jesus does.
"Feminism" isn't feminine at all. "Feminists" are really masculinists: people who are concerned with becoming masculine. Until females become feminine and males become masculine as God created them to be, relying on His forgiveness and grace for freedom and fulfillment within their roles, they will continue to feel oppressed, confused, shackled, afflicted, and demand their "rights" to positions God did not give them.

Let women be feminists: those who are concerned with femininity.

Let men be masculinists: those who are concerned with masculinity.

Let us all be concerned with the chief end of man: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (The Westminster Shorter Catechism, Q & A 1; Ps. 86:9; Isa. 60:21; Rom. 11:36; I Cor. 6:20; 10:31; Rev. 4:11; Ps. 16:5-11; 144:15; Isa. 12:2; Luke 2:10; Phil. 4:4; Rev. 21:3-4).

Are you a true feminist? One who is concerned with biblical femininity? Then you'll love our new, 153-page eBook, The Pursuit of Motherhood! You can read more about it and view the Table of Contents here.

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Each winter, I hear this question: "Do you have any tips for dressing modestly while staying warm? I'm just so freezing cold when I wear skirts!"Before I attempt to answer this, you need to know two things:

• I don't really have a sense of style (just ask my sisters!). I have budget-sense though, so most of these tips are more finance conscious than fashion conscious, although I do try to look somewhat put together. :)
• I'm not a "skirts only" girl, although I do love them! None of these pictures show me in pants, but I wear them quite regularly (you can read more about my thoughts on pants vs. skirts here).

1. Invest in 1 to 3 high-quality skirts. Pick a style you love in a neutral color that can match virtually anything. I am wearing the same skirt in all of these photos. I spent a bit more money on it, but I've been wearing it at least once a week since April (pictured above) and it's still not showing any signs of wear.

2. For warmth and a higher neckline, wear a tank top backwards! Make sure it's of the tagless variety or that the tag can easily be cut off, or that written tags on the inside of the tank can't be seen from the outside. For obvious reasons, racerback tanks don't work for this.

If you can afford to spend a bit more, I highly recommend the Undercover Mama Nursing Tanks from Deborah & Co. I have three of them and wear them all the time, even though I'm not nursing anymore (long story). They are long, which makes them great for layering. They also clasp onto any bra strap which means they are:

• perfect for nursing
• minimize the amount of straps underneath your actual shirt
• can be adjusted to sit at a neckline height that makes you feel the most comfortable

3. Invest in some high-quality, fleece-lined leggings. I have two pairs. I cheaped out on one of them and am paying for it: the fit isn't nearly as comfortable as my other pair from Deborah & Co., and they're not quite as warm either.

These fleece-lined leggings from Deborah & Co. are the ultimate solution to cold legs! I love them because:

• they keep me warm all over. I can wear a t-shirt in the middle of Winter with these things on and still stay toasty (I love wearing shorter sleeved shirts year-round; it's much less of a hassle when bathing children, washing dishes, or doing other jobs where long sleeves tend to get in the way).
• they add no bulk. Their thickness is equivalent to a regular pair of tights, but they're much warmer.
• my skirt doesn't cling to them like it does to a pair of tights of nylons. I really dislike wearing slips and was thrilled to discover I could do without one when I wear these leggings
• they come in all the right colors: black, brown, and charcoal.
• they are comfortable. Unlike nylons, they don't hike up past my belly button.
• they don't rip, snag, or have to be thrown out after one use, unlike nylons which I may have mentioned are my nemesis.
• they keep my feet free. I love bare toes as much as I hate nylons.

4. Wear a pretty scarf. Scarves:

• are cheap
• come in hundreds of different colors, prints, and styles to coordinate with any outfit
• make lower cut shirts more forgiving
• keep your cleavage hidden
• warm your neck
• can double as an emergency nursing cover
• make you look slightly fashion savvy, even if you're not at all
• okay, I digress...

To save money, I sometimes shop thrift stores. I usually pass on the second-hand tops since they often look worn, but have been able to find a few long skirts that were hardly used. I typically buy my tops at the end of the season when prices are reduced for clearance. I never pay full price for clothing. If I make purchases online, the item is either on sale or includes free shipping.

My Modest Clothing Sources:

High quality, modest skirts & dresses

• Deborah & Co.
• eShakti
• For Elyse (not a huge fan of all their clothes, but they have some nice, long skirts for reasonable prices)
• Shabby Apple
• Shell Sheli (skirt extenders)

• HALFTEE
• Deborah & Co.
• Shell Sheli

• Deborah & Co.

• For Eylse
• Peach Couture

Use code "frosty15" at checkout and save 15% OFF any product from Shell Sheli. Sale ends December 16.

Use code "stylefortheseason" to save 10% OFF any product from Deborah & Co. Sale ends December 13.

***
Fleece-Lined Leggings Giveaway! Courtesy of Deborah & Co.!

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If I read my Bible everyday and use my trusty highlighter,

if I cook nutritious meals from scratch,

if I homeschool my children and give them a Christian, classical education,

if I meet my husband's needs before my own,

if I surrender my fertility and never pop a little pink pill,

if I adopt a special needs child or foster babies in our home,

if I entertain guests every weekend and invite them to spend the night,

if I perfectly tailor our curriculum to each individual child,

if I make our family memorize Scripture, songs, and poetry,

if I teach them Latin, Greek, and Hebrew,

if I foster beauty and femininity in our daughters,

if I encourage chivalry and a hard work ethic in our son,

if I plant a large vegetable garden and grow perennials along a white picket fence,

if I spend the summer canning, and freezing, and preserving our produce,

if I menu-plan, and master the art of crock-potting,

if I become a coupon queen, ad-match, and never buy anything unless it's on sale,

if I visit the poor and donate clothes to Salvation Army,

if I bring Chicken Noodle Soup to the sick and lonely, and invite our widowed church members for dinner,

if I vote for the most godly candidate, help set up lawn signs, and campaign against abortion,

if I dress in skirts and keep my necklines high,

if I sew all our clothes, knit all our mittens, and keep our shoes polished,

if I can preserve my daughters' virginity, and keep my son from looking at porn,

if I install Covenant Eyes and monitor my children's computer usage,

if I get rid of the TV and cancel Netflix,

if I keep the laundry basket empty, and the linen closet stocked,

if I make family devotions our top priority, and teach our children the Westminster catechism,

if I am a Trim Healthy Mama, and exercise every day

if I birth my children at home, and follow ecological breastfeeding patterns,

if I make use of the chiropractor, herbal remedies, and essential oils,

if I buy toy trucks and swords for my boy, and dolls and a play-kitchen for my girls,

if I live debt-free and pay for everything with cash,

if I take my family to church twice every Sunday,

if I clean puke out of carpets and change diapers for 14 years straight,

if I can't remember what it's like to sleep in,

if I do everything right...

... to buy my own salvation or that of my children,

it profits me nothing.

But if, out of a sincere love for my Savior (John 14:15),

believing it is not my works that save me (Isaiah 64:6),

but God's great love in granting me a full and free redemption purchased by the precious blood of Jesus on the Cross (John 3:16), and sealing my pardon by raising Him from the dead (Romans 10:9),

I desire to do all things through and for Christ which strengthens me (Philippians 4:13),

then motherhood is not in vain.

It is an honor to be pursued with diligence and joy (Colossians 3: 23),

because He who called me is faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:24),
and as much as I do it unto the least of these (Matthew 25:40),
I do it unto the Lord.

Coming November 29!

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